Dr. Caroline Fleck

Yeah. So when, and I work a lot with couples, but, and we'll do these assessments when they come in, you know, to kind of gauge the strength of the relationship. And one thing we ask about is kind of loneliness. Do you feel lonely in this relationship?

And when the answer is yes, I know one of the first things I've have to help them do is kind of develop these skills and then use them in communication with each other. Because loneliness is a symptom of not feeling seen, right? That's, that is the implication there.

And when the answer is yes, I know one of the first things I've have to help them do is kind of develop these skills and then use them in communication with each other. Because loneliness is a symptom of not feeling seen, right? That's, that is the implication there.

And when the answer is yes, I know one of the first things I've have to help them do is kind of develop these skills and then use them in communication with each other. Because loneliness is a symptom of not feeling seen, right? That's, that is the implication there.

And I think that's what a lot of people struggle with. They're afraid of being alone and yet don't realize that they're actually in a lot of ways lonelier in this relationship because there's no potential. It feels like there's no potential to be seen. So you're like, you know,

And I think that's what a lot of people struggle with. They're afraid of being alone and yet don't realize that they're actually in a lot of ways lonelier in this relationship because there's no potential. It feels like there's no potential to be seen. So you're like, you know,

And I think that's what a lot of people struggle with. They're afraid of being alone and yet don't realize that they're actually in a lot of ways lonelier in this relationship because there's no potential. It feels like there's no potential to be seen. So you're like, you know,

That doesn't make any sense. Correcting people's emotions. I think this is often the form that gaslighting takes, right? You're not frustrated, you're jealous. You're jealous of my success. You're not frustrated with your... And so this kind of emotion correcting where people are like, wait, am I jealous? Am I? So this is what we see in folks who come from pervasively invalidating environments.

That doesn't make any sense. Correcting people's emotions. I think this is often the form that gaslighting takes, right? You're not frustrated, you're jealous. You're jealous of my success. You're not frustrated with your... And so this kind of emotion correcting where people are like, wait, am I jealous? Am I? So this is what we see in folks who come from pervasively invalidating environments.

That doesn't make any sense. Correcting people's emotions. I think this is often the form that gaslighting takes, right? You're not frustrated, you're jealous. You're jealous of my success. You're not frustrated with your... And so this kind of emotion correcting where people are like, wait, am I jealous? Am I? So this is what we see in folks who come from pervasively invalidating environments.

They don't trust their own sense of... what's going on in the situation. They defer to others in the environment to figure out what they should be thinking and feeling because they've learned, they've been told repeatedly that their emotions are wrong. They shouldn't be feeling that way, right? Don't be a baby. Act your age. These messages. Now, those are we have all careful.

They don't trust their own sense of... what's going on in the situation. They defer to others in the environment to figure out what they should be thinking and feeling because they've learned, they've been told repeatedly that their emotions are wrong. They shouldn't be feeling that way, right? Don't be a baby. Act your age. These messages. Now, those are we have all careful.

They don't trust their own sense of... what's going on in the situation. They defer to others in the environment to figure out what they should be thinking and feeling because they've learned, they've been told repeatedly that their emotions are wrong. They shouldn't be feeling that way, right? Don't be a baby. Act your age. These messages. Now, those are we have all careful.

We've all said things like this to our kids before. Right. But it's like when that's done on a large scale, when every every other reaction the kid has is responded to in this way, you end up with adults who cannot trust themselves, much less be vulnerable with others.

We've all said things like this to our kids before. Right. But it's like when that's done on a large scale, when every every other reaction the kid has is responded to in this way, you end up with adults who cannot trust themselves, much less be vulnerable with others.

We've all said things like this to our kids before. Right. But it's like when that's done on a large scale, when every every other reaction the kid has is responded to in this way, you end up with adults who cannot trust themselves, much less be vulnerable with others.

Yeah, in some sense, but it can be overcome.

Yeah, in some sense, but it can be overcome.

Yeah, in some sense, but it can be overcome.

Yeah, that's my job.