Dr. Caroline Fleck

Oh, yeah. Self-compassion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

something that's just isolated to this person and this waiter. That is that person's perspective. Now, the issue with self-validation is that, unfortunately, we are a culture of change. We like to problem solve, especially as parents.

something that's just isolated to this person and this waiter. That is that person's perspective. Now, the issue with self-validation is that, unfortunately, we are a culture of change. We like to problem solve, especially as parents.

something that's just isolated to this person and this waiter. That is that person's perspective. Now, the issue with self-validation is that, unfortunately, we are a culture of change. We like to problem solve, especially as parents.

We want to protect our kids so much that we're quick to solve their problems and focus on change and not maybe validate that they're disappointed that they failed their little spelling test. So it's not modeled for us. We don't learn how to validate our emotions. We learn how to problem solve our behavior. All right. And so then as adults, we don't model that for our children.

We want to protect our kids so much that we're quick to solve their problems and focus on change and not maybe validate that they're disappointed that they failed their little spelling test. So it's not modeled for us. We don't learn how to validate our emotions. We learn how to problem solve our behavior. All right. And so then as adults, we don't model that for our children.

We want to protect our kids so much that we're quick to solve their problems and focus on change and not maybe validate that they're disappointed that they failed their little spelling test. So it's not modeled for us. We don't learn how to validate our emotions. We learn how to problem solve our behavior. All right. And so then as adults, we don't model that for our children.

They don't learn how to do that. I have yet to meet a person, be it someone that I work with as an executive coach, somebody in the corporate space, or a patient who is really good at self-validation. Okay, it just, it's very rare. And so we teach these skills in order to validate others. And then as a therapist, we talk a lot about how do you turn that inward?

They don't learn how to do that. I have yet to meet a person, be it someone that I work with as an executive coach, somebody in the corporate space, or a patient who is really good at self-validation. Okay, it just, it's very rare. And so we teach these skills in order to validate others. And then as a therapist, we talk a lot about how do you turn that inward?

They don't learn how to do that. I have yet to meet a person, be it someone that I work with as an executive coach, somebody in the corporate space, or a patient who is really good at self-validation. Okay, it just, it's very rare. And so we teach these skills in order to validate others. And then as a therapist, we talk a lot about how do you turn that inward?

Because that's ultimately what I have to have folks do, right? Part of why I'm validating these, my clients, these folks who come from these, you know, horrible experiences is so that they can learn to do the same for themselves. So I validate them and say, hey, yep, that's valid. Now, here's how you do that for yourself.

Because that's ultimately what I have to have folks do, right? Part of why I'm validating these, my clients, these folks who come from these, you know, horrible experiences is so that they can learn to do the same for themselves. So I validate them and say, hey, yep, that's valid. Now, here's how you do that for yourself.

Because that's ultimately what I have to have folks do, right? Part of why I'm validating these, my clients, these folks who come from these, you know, horrible experiences is so that they can learn to do the same for themselves. So I validate them and say, hey, yep, that's valid. Now, here's how you do that for yourself.

So when you're lying in bed, or frankly, when I'm lying in bed and I'm sitting there and I'm seeing, oh, my gosh, I feel really anxious about tomorrow. Okay. I immediately start to look for what's the validity. I am... I'm in LA, which is not where I normally live. I'm sleeping in a bed that's not mine. I have to get up tomorrow and do an interview. And I'm worried about how that's going to go.

So when you're lying in bed, or frankly, when I'm lying in bed and I'm sitting there and I'm seeing, oh, my gosh, I feel really anxious about tomorrow. Okay. I immediately start to look for what's the validity. I am... I'm in LA, which is not where I normally live. I'm sleeping in a bed that's not mine. I have to get up tomorrow and do an interview. And I'm worried about how that's going to go.

So when you're lying in bed, or frankly, when I'm lying in bed and I'm sitting there and I'm seeing, oh, my gosh, I feel really anxious about tomorrow. Okay. I immediately start to look for what's the validity. I am... I'm in LA, which is not where I normally live. I'm sleeping in a bed that's not mine. I have to get up tomorrow and do an interview. And I'm worried about how that's going to go.

I'm looking for all of the valid reasons why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And I do not do the, you're such a wuss. Like, what's wrong with you? Nobody else would be feeling this. Everybody else would be so excited to be in your position. What's wrong with you? So I've learned to challenge that script. but it takes active intention and frankly, skills. You gotta know how to do it.

I'm looking for all of the valid reasons why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And I do not do the, you're such a wuss. Like, what's wrong with you? Nobody else would be feeling this. Everybody else would be so excited to be in your position. What's wrong with you? So I've learned to challenge that script. but it takes active intention and frankly, skills. You gotta know how to do it.

I'm looking for all of the valid reasons why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And I do not do the, you're such a wuss. Like, what's wrong with you? Nobody else would be feeling this. Everybody else would be so excited to be in your position. What's wrong with you? So I've learned to challenge that script. but it takes active intention and frankly, skills. You gotta know how to do it.

There's always space for focusing on what you need to do differently, what you could behaviorally change. I don't think you can tough love your way out of your emotions. I think it is a huge mistake to think that you can just bully yourself out of feeling sad, anxious, down, depressed. It just doesn't work. We know that. It compounds negativity.