Dr. Caroline Fleck

It would, but here's the thing. So as soon as we were talking and I was starting to feel like, ooh, this isn't going well, I would in my head just say, like, copy. I'm not going to be too... you know, drilled in, but I just give like myself a message copy.

It would, but here's the thing. So as soon as we were talking and I was starting to feel like, ooh, this isn't going well, I would in my head just say, like, copy. I'm not going to be too... you know, drilled in, but I just give like myself a message copy.

For me to copy you. I just tell myself copy. And I slowly start to assume a similar position. Okay. And I'm intentionally doing that because I'm trying to attune to you. And this isn't me just being weird. Doing this activates mirror neurons. wherein as a result of copying your expression and your body language, I will start to feel, I will start to taste some of what you are experiencing.

For me to copy you. I just tell myself copy. And I slowly start to assume a similar position. Okay. And I'm intentionally doing that because I'm trying to attune to you. And this isn't me just being weird. Doing this activates mirror neurons. wherein as a result of copying your expression and your body language, I will start to feel, I will start to taste some of what you are experiencing.

That is how mirror neurons function. We are designed to copy. Babies mimic the facial expressions of people, of their parents and caregivers. When we're attracted to people or we want to impress them or we like them, we naturally copy them. When we sense threat, we tend to close up. And interestingly, those are the moments oftentimes, conflict, right, where connection would serve you best.

That is how mirror neurons function. We are designed to copy. Babies mimic the facial expressions of people, of their parents and caregivers. When we're attracted to people or we want to impress them or we like them, we naturally copy them. When we sense threat, we tend to close up. And interestingly, those are the moments oftentimes, conflict, right, where connection would serve you best.

It's just not what we're wired to do.

It's just not what we're wired to do.

That's right.

That's right.

Mirroring, uh-huh, and mimicking.

Mirroring, uh-huh, and mimicking.

Oh, my gosh. So I'm trying to think of some of these really quirky studies. They looked at, for instance, when waiters simply repeat back an order compared to those who don't, they get a 25% higher tip on average, right? Copying increases altruistic behavior. towards the person who did the copying, it also overcomes implicit racism.

Oh, my gosh. So I'm trying to think of some of these really quirky studies. They looked at, for instance, when waiters simply repeat back an order compared to those who don't, they get a 25% higher tip on average, right? Copying increases altruistic behavior. towards the person who did the copying, it also overcomes implicit racism.

So they have ways of measuring kind of subtle forms of racism that you're not even aware of. They'll give you an assessment to measure that. And then they'll have you copy someone of the opposite race, copy their movements in a video or something, and then they'll measure it again. And that implicit racism has significantly decreased.

So they have ways of measuring kind of subtle forms of racism that you're not even aware of. They'll give you an assessment to measure that. And then they'll have you copy someone of the opposite race, copy their movements in a video or something, and then they'll measure it again. And that implicit racism has significantly decreased.

Just by copying. Yeah. So this is what I'm saying about how you use these entry skills to cultivate more understanding and empathy. And that is how you move to higher levels of validation. Because my full-time job is working with people who are saying, doing, and believing things that are distorted to the extent of being pathological.

Just by copying. Yeah. So this is what I'm saying about how you use these entry skills to cultivate more understanding and empathy. And that is how you move to higher levels of validation. Because my full-time job is working with people who are saying, doing, and believing things that are distorted to the extent of being pathological.

Well, Caroline, it's clear. I guess this is done. I guess we're not working together anymore. Me saying, I'm sorry, what happened? I emailed you yesterday. You didn't respond? Didn't respond to me? Oh, I'm so sorry. I had so many... Immediately I'm getting defensive, right? I am so sorry. I had so many... You know that I self-harm.

Well, Caroline, it's clear. I guess this is done. I guess we're not working together anymore. Me saying, I'm sorry, what happened? I emailed you yesterday. You didn't respond? Didn't respond to me? Oh, I'm so sorry. I had so many... Immediately I'm getting defensive, right? I am so sorry. I had so many... You know that I self-harm.