Dr. Darby Saxbe

speaker

745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

It's not just birth experience.

It's not just breastfeeding.

I think it's about, and we know this in both men and women, that being more socially connected to other people is really important for health.

Yeah.

I mean, even more so maybe because then you're especially attuned to them, right?

It's good for longevity.

Maybe not, or for your friend.

I mean, I guess you can be very empathetic for a friend.

Yeah, absolutely.

And I think a lot of young people do adopt pets either in lieu of or in preparation for having babies.

And you are practicing a lot of those same kinds of skills.

Yeah, although you might find, and this is true, I talked to somebody that took a parenting class and found that it ultimately made him a much better manager at work.

So I think there's sort of like this short-term, maybe downgrading of everything except the baby.

And then there's a long-term building of new skills and stronger social networks.

Ideally, right, when things go right, that's not true for everybody.

But I think these are transferable skills, right?

So if you think about becoming an empathetic parent as analogous to being a good friend or a good caretaker in other domains, you know— Transferable skills.

Yeah, like men who are coaches, who are teachers, who are guidance counselors, who are religious leaders.

You know, I talked to somebody for the book who said we often think about caregiving in very feminized ways, but the fireman who pulls a family out of a burning building is a caregiver.

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