Dr. Darby Saxbe

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745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

You want to start high and you want to end low.

And when people were doing more housework in the evenings, they had less of that nadir that they were hitting at bedtime.

And we also found that when you entered moms and dads time use together in the same model, moms benefited in terms of their cortisol when dads were doing more housework and dads benefited when they had more leisure time and their partners had less leisure time.

So kind of a mixed bag of results where it's sort of, you know,

If you're a mom, you want your partner to be helping with housework.

And if you're a dad, you want to be sitting back and relaxing while your partner is taking care of business.

Yeah.

It's sort of depressing.

So stress contagion is when couples influence each other's hormone levels.

So I found that you see linked cortisol levels in cohabitating couples.

And I've looked at this in moms and dads.

I've also looked at this in non-parent male and female couples.

So when one person has higher cortisol, their partner has higher than usual cortisol as well.

And it seems like when the relationship quality is compromised, when you have more conflict, you have more tightly linked patterns of cortisol.

So people are actually increasing each other's stress rather than helping to balance or modulate it.

You help people communicate better and fight more effectively so that they can calm each other down rather than amp each other up.

I think when you're frustrated and stressed and you have a partner who's exacerbating that, it's very hard to recover.

If you have a partner who can help to talk you down and sort of balance out your irritated state with a calm state, then you can better recover in terms of your biology.

Well, we talked about already weight gain.

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