Dr. Darby Saxbe

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745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

who go back to work less than two weeks after the birth of a baby.

So if you're a shift worker, if you're a gig worker, if you're at Walmart, you are probably not getting time to rest, recover and bond.

And that's really stressful and really taxing to your ability to adjust to parenthood.

So that's part of it.

It's also like, what are the community resources that are available to you?

Can you afford support and child care?

But some of the best interventions for postpartum depression are around shoring up your social support networks.

So helping get people to be more proactive about asking for help.

helping to invest in your relationships.

And you can even do preventive intervention before a baby's born to say, and we actually do this, my lab leads psychoeducation workshops with a big hospital system that serves low-income new parents.

We say we have them make a social support map

So we say, who are you going to be able to ask for help in different domains after the baby comes?

Maybe your older brother isn't going to be that helpful when it comes to taking the baby for a nap, but he can help with your lawn care.

You know, so how do you plug different people in your life into different roles to make sure that your social support needs are met?

And we try to coach people to be more assertive about asking for help because I think we're conditioned in our society to be very reluctant.

Yeah, I think this is a common thing that I hear from expectant dads, that they're terrified, that they're not going to know what to do, that they're not going to be good at it.

And I think we expect men to be highly competent, you know, women too, but we really socialize men to be good at things.

Mm-hmm.

And it's hard to be really good at taking care of a baby in the abstract because it's all about what does your particular baby need and how do you get to know your baby.

And that's individual and it depends on your time and your motivation and your practice.

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