Dr. Darby Saxbe

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745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

But I think that idea that men are sort of flailing around really uncertain.

I talked to a guy whose whole career is talking to startup entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley.

And he says a very similar story as yours.

He's talked to men who are great at all kinds of, you know, conquering the business world.

And yet when you get them onto the subject of their kids, they're all totally worried that they don't know what they're doing, right?

It's a domain where...

We don't have that same sense of skill and power, and it's harder to optimize.

And I would say, you know, you mentioned this kind of self-optimization culture and productivity.

And it's interesting if you watch the kind of like get ready with me videos or here are all the, you know, here's my regimen, here are all the things I do to completely, you know, biohack my way to success.

Frequently, they're of someone who's alone, right?

And they take a lot of time and they take a lot of solitary activity.

And they're not necessarily about being connected.

They're not about giving to other people.

They're not about caring for someone who's vulnerable.

And I would say when you think about what makes life worth living...

A lot of it is about our relationship health.

You know, that's what the best studies of longevity have told us.

That's what work on men has told us, that, you know, when men are socially isolated in late life, that's a real risk factor for early mortality.

So how can men get more connected?

Well, part of it is by devoting yourself to learning how to care for other people.

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