Dr. Darby Saxbe

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745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

And so, again, going back to this idea of how do we reframe masculinity in more prosocial ways, it's manly to take care of vulnerable people.

You're going to be the new Dr. Becky.

Well, we already talked about, you know, you can fix your relationship by having a baby.

So definitely that's very bad advice.

I think other bad advice is just, you know, dads don't know what they're doing, so keep your distance.

And I think there are...

these preconceptions around, should we invest in paternity leave for new dads?

Well, dads are useless in the early months.

They've got nothing to contribute.

And I think that is bad advice because as with moms, dads are capable of learning and their neurobiology is going to come along for the ride as they learn how to take care of kids.

I think the other thing is we sometimes privilege early infancy as the sort of only time for dads to shine.

And I talked to Richard Reeves, who's written a lot about healthy masculinity.

He said he thinks that men should be able to take paternity leave up to their kids' 14th or maybe even 18th birthday.

Yeah.

And he told me he was a stay-at-home dad to his sons for a period when they were school age.

And that was a great experience.

And he loves taking his kids on trips and excursions.

And so I think there's a lot of value that dads can add at different stages along the lifespan.

And I think when we decide that men don't know what they're doing and we kind of opt them out of a key parenting role, we're losing that opportunity and we're not giving them the windows in which to build their competence.

Thank you.

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