Dr. David Burns

Thank you for listening. This has been another episode of the Feeling Good podcast. For more information, visit Dr. Byrne's website at feelinggood.com, where you will find the show notes under the podcast page. You will also find archives of previous episodes and many resources for therapists and non-therapists. We welcome your comments and questions.

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If you want to support the show, please share the podcast with people who might benefit from it. You could also go to iTunes and leave a five-star rating. I am your host, Rhonda Borowski, the director of the Feeling Great Therapy Center. We hope you enjoyed this episode. I invite you to join us next time for another episode of the Feeling Good Podcast.

Hello, Rhonda.

Hello, Rhonda.

Great to be here. Hi, Matt. Good to see you. It's always great hanging out with you, too. Some of my favorite times in life are being with you, too. Me, too. It's a pleasure.

Great to be here. Hi, Matt. Good to see you. It's always great hanging out with you, too. Some of my favorite times in life are being with you, too. Me, too. It's a pleasure.

Yeah, and that is a common confusion. People have a lot of reasons not to accept themselves, and there's a kind of healthy acceptance and unhealthy acceptance, and most people can't distinguish them, so they think that acceptance means you get stuck in your crummy self, but actually acceptance is... the greatest change a human being can make.

Yeah, and that is a common confusion. People have a lot of reasons not to accept themselves, and there's a kind of healthy acceptance and unhealthy acceptance, and most people can't distinguish them, so they think that acceptance means you get stuck in your crummy self, but actually acceptance is... the greatest change a human being can make.

When you accept yourself, you have made an awesome change. And I discovered someone who said that long before I did. You want to know who it was? The Buddha? Not that early. It was from the 20th century. Carl Rogers. I think he wrote on becoming a person. And he was all about listening and empathy and accepting.

When you accept yourself, you have made an awesome change. And I discovered someone who said that long before I did. You want to know who it was? The Buddha? Not that early. It was from the 20th century. Carl Rogers. I think he wrote on becoming a person. And he was all about listening and empathy and accepting.

But one of the fellows on our app team found all of these quotes he had on how acceptance is the same as change. And it really surprised me. I think I might have read. read about him when I was in college. We had a class on third-force psychology, the so-called new psychology at the time, that was going to focus on peak experiences, not what was neurotic about people.

But one of the fellows on our app team found all of these quotes he had on how acceptance is the same as change. And it really surprised me. I think I might have read. read about him when I was in college. We had a class on third-force psychology, the so-called new psychology at the time, that was going to focus on peak experiences, not what was neurotic about people.

But he was very much into acceptance, and I'd always associated his name with empathy, you know, Rogerian listening, right? That's the guy. But apparently he was heavily into acceptance as well, which I was excited to see that.

But he was very much into acceptance, and I'd always associated his name with empathy, you know, Rogerian listening, right? That's the guy. But apparently he was heavily into acceptance as well, which I was excited to see that.

Well, it's very dramatic, and we have a class on that that we're about to publish in the Feeling Great app, and that's one of the lessons in that class on acceptance. But unhealthy acceptance is accompanied by joy, and then unhealthy acceptance is accompanied by despair. Healthy acceptance is accompanied by laughter and lightness. Unhealthy acceptance is accompanied by cynicism and anger.

Well, it's very dramatic, and we have a class on that that we're about to publish in the Feeling Great app, and that's one of the lessons in that class on acceptance. But unhealthy acceptance is accompanied by joy, and then unhealthy acceptance is accompanied by despair. Healthy acceptance is accompanied by laughter and lightness. Unhealthy acceptance is accompanied by cynicism and anger.

Uh, that's, it's just, they're, they're, they're, they're just the opposite from each other. And there's a lot of distinctions between them, but, but essentially you see, um, to take the thought, uh, uh, I've, I've decided to accept my shitty self, my below average self, uh, And I've decided to accept the fact that I really am defective and there's nothing about me that doesn't need improvement.

Uh, that's, it's just, they're, they're, they're, they're just the opposite from each other. And there's a lot of distinctions between them, but, but essentially you see, um, to take the thought, uh, uh, I've, I've decided to accept my shitty self, my below average self, uh, And I've decided to accept the fact that I really am defective and there's nothing about me that doesn't need improvement.

And are those thoughts a reason for suicide or a reason for celebration? That's the issue. And when you get acceptance, it's not like a death warrant. It's like a celebration of birth. You wake up in a whole new universe. You've changed and the whole world around you has changed.