Dr. Drew

Katsotaan sitä, ja se on kuin... Kaikki, mitä olin katsomassa, oli, että sinä olet pysynyt. Sinä olet pysynyt. Katsotaan uuden. Missä on bateria? Ja... Siinä on hieman pieni, super-kysymyksiä. Se on plastiikka, joka tekee enemmän flexiota, kuin se tekee muovia. Joten en ole varma, onko sinä muovannut sen A- tai B-puolelle. Mutta minä muovin sen. Okei, luulen, että loppuin sen. Ei, ei, se on edelleen menossa. Lopulta...

I just go, does it take a battery? Where's the battery? Turns out there's just a sticker on the back of it. Turn around the front. You always do this one. There's that thing that you push and then it scares the shit out of you because it tests it. Beeps in front of you.

Joten aloittain ajattelin, että pysyvän sen ja laittaisin sen uudelleen minun ruumiin ja lopettin tuon. Se meni ulos ja otin uudelleen. Se meni ulos, meni ulos, olen täällä nukkumaan, aion lopettaa televisiota. Kaksi tai neljä iltaa myöhemmin toinen meni ulos. Toinen pysyvyys hallinnoissa meni ulos.

I pull it off and this time I hand it to Lynette and I go, read this thing. I can't, does this thing take a battery? And it's like, no, it does not take a battery. Okay, is there any way to stop it from doing the low battery chirp? Well, no, because there's no battery to replace and there's no switch that switches it off on the back of it. So I then again take it and go put it in the closet next to the other one. Join your friend.

I think there is a weird switch. I'm not sure what it does. It didn't seem to do much, but I put it in the closet and it drowned it out. Bring it in here. So we can take a look at it. I might, but it's going to have to be... There's going to be more than one trip. Because... I then started hearing it go from the closet. And I just thought...

I want this thing to shut, but it doesn't have a place where I can drop in a Phillips head screwdriver and undo it or pull the battery out. It's contained. It's completely contained and sealed. It's a $7 thing that has a battery in it that's supposed to last five years, but this thing has been sitting in a fucking warehouse in Bangkok for fucking four years and 11 months, and then it got delivered to my house. I think that's what happened. There's no exposed wires or anything?

No anything. There's nothing in kind. So it's just... It's a shitty... I don't know. Gary will find... I don't know. If you just tweet... If you just Google in the cheapest, you know, battery... Gary, Google Adams fire detector. It's a smoke detector where the battery can't be changed, but it's not hardwired. That's the one you're going to need. So...

I literally put it in the sink and drown it. I'm just going to bury it in water. I'll treat it like a bomb or something. I'm going to short circuit it. Have you seen fatal attraction? That thing's coming back to you. It starts chirping again. And now it's doing this low volume chirp, but it's still enough to bother me. And at a certain point,

Because I just get pissed off, I literally just take both of them, open the front door and just chuck them out under the driveway. I just threw them out in the front steps and it's raining outside. I'm like, let them just sit out there and just make their very... They're not doing the low battery chirp at this point. They're doing a disgruntled employee chirp. Like, I don't know about this guy. It's not a... Hey, boss! God damn it! Over here.

You'll know it when you turn it around, Gary. This one's $15.99 and has a self-contained lithium-ion battery that can't be replaced. Does it have a big, huge paperback on it with a thousand words? Yes, it does. Yes, yeah. It's close enough. It's like Sanskrit. There's nothing. Mine is cheaper than this one, Gary. Lower profile and has more words on it that circumnavigate the entire back of this thing. So you can check that out. But it's going to be more in the $8 range. Either way.

I just go... Next week, Lord of the Jungle. Fuck it. It's going outside. And I just throw them outside, and it's raining. Could that bother the neighbors? It's not doing the full chirp. It's doing... I'm worried. I'm thinking about the neighbors. It's down to this weird sort of... But it's doing this thing that's enough to bother me, but it's not the full blast, low battery, high decibel chirp.

So I throw it out and I just throw it outside. I'm like, look, I'm just going to throw it out. I'll throw it out tomorrow morning. It's raining outside. Lynette and Natalia are off at some play. Sonny and I are watching the Seahawks game. And there it is. It'll be sitting by the front door. And...

Of course, at 5 a.m. this morning, I'm awoken by what is now the full chirp. Oh, it's back. Now it's back. Now the full chirp. And it was just like... And it's outside, but I can hear it pretty fucking clearly, and so can Lynette. I'm no mechanic or electrician, but that sounds haunted.

Have you looked into that? Maybe an exorcism? I gave it a fucking exorcism, okay. I said, okay, all right. And poor Lynette had no idea what was going on. Like, why are they out on the front porch? I thought you put them in the closet. 5 a.m. is no time to have that discussion. No. Why they're out

No, and it's fucking freezing and it's 5 a.m. and it wakes Lynette up first and then it wakes me up and then we both get up and we go out and now we're outside and we get the fucking thing and it's now chirping loudly and I'm holding it and I don't know what the fuck to do with this thing anymore, but I have a sink.

Ja se on yksi cast ironin variaatiolla, jonka koneella on keramikko. Aikaiset 60-luvut. Aikaiset pienet. Ei newfangled farmer's sinks eikä stainless steel sinks, vaan ne, jotka väivät 200 poundit. I just take one of these sinks. Yeah, but not the new cool ones. The old iron ones. Okay.

And I just fucking take it and I fucking stand back and I chuck it as hard as I can inside the sink. And it breaks into a million pieces and then does this novelty cartoon.

I just fucking pick it up and I fucking chuck it in. There was nothing more viscerally satisfying. I was yelling, fuck you! I threw it and they smashed it. I'm sure the house is on fire right now. But I just threw it in there and it still went like... The end of a little trip.

Tämä on tämä asia.

Se oli koko elokuvaa. Sitten otin toisen ja laitin sen takaisin. Se ei tehnyt mitään ensimmäistä kertaa. Päätin sen ulos ja tappasin sen ulos. Sinä tappasit sen ystäväsi. Minä tappasin molemmat. Detektor on detector crime. Jos haluat mennä paremmin, pysy jiffi-pohjaan. Silloin kuulet, että kaupungin voi olla kiinni.