Dr. Emily Morse
speaker
388 appearances
3 recordings
3 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard 17 Feb
Dr. Emily Morse’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 1.
Appearances
And we are just going to learn to find different ways to please each other and open up different receptors. And just, I mean, there's so much to explore. So I would say that... Again, the way it just couples can can get it back if they're both willing. Now, if there's one partner and here's you probably have found this as a couples therapist. And it's really, really in all the work you've done.
It's so challenging. And I found this a lot. Oftentimes there's one in the relationship who is pushing that sex boulder up the hill. They're like, let's have the conversations. Let's mix it up. Let's talk about it. Let's go to therapy. And there might be one partner going back to cultural conditioning and sexual shame and they don't want to talk about it. They don't want to discuss it.
And they deeply believe that if they talk about sex and they have to work on it, then their relationship is over or it's broken or sex shouldn't be talked about. Again, I can't tell you how many people like still believe that sex should actually not, not only should that be talked about like on Instagram or anywhere, but it shouldn't even be talked about in a relationship. Right.
I would say, and I would love to know your take on this, I believe that 99.9% of couples have not yet had a healthy conversation about sex that has helped them truly connect and have more pleasure and have the sex that they want. Most of the conversations around sex are, when are we having it? We haven't had it a lot. How come you never do this or that?
I found that what we're talking about is these really healthy conversations are not as common.
I love that you said that. That is truly where I would say the majority of sex conversations are living. They're living up here in the numbers and the techniques and all these other things. But when we learn to be vulnerable and say the things that we think we cannot say, that's when the whole world of sensuality and sexuality truly opens up.
That's greater intimacy.
I love that sex is a reflection of the fact that you are opening up and releasing whatever shame is around it. Because when we you know, when we speak the words, like the shame can't live that, right? Shame can no longer live where we are speaking our, you know, our, our truths.
Absolutely. And just know that your sex life can start today. Like just listen to this podcast. Like today could be the first day of the rest of your sex life. Let go of the past. Let go of how it was. You know, we don't want the same food sometimes we wanted five years ago. We don't do the same exercise.
We don't even have the same, maybe sometimes the same friends or the same arrangement, same job. But for some reason, we keep having sex and thinking about sex in the same exact way. So I just want to release everybody from wherever it was in the past.
But if you have a partner who's willing to be like, let's start today, like let's start really exploring, getting curious and, you know, being honest and unpacking this and rebuilding or building it for the first time, perhaps into a way that feels good for both of us.
You know, that's harder with dating. I mean, is that harder? It's a different kind of challenge because, again, finding somebody that you want to explore with, like... Because here you are, you're like, I have all this great connection, I'm attracted to them. Then I would ask people, have a sexual conversation with them and open up and say, would you be willing to explore with me?
Can we explore some touch? Can we explore some massage together and see if it builds from there? But it can also be tricky because, again, because of the way our society is set up, that person might never have had a conversation like this. Like what we're talking about now is not as commonplace.
So I feel like you could just sort of be vulnerable with somebody you're dating and say, like, I don't know if I feel the spark, but would you be open to like exploring with me, going to a play party, doing something different and seeing if you can kind of find that with somebody? Yeah. But also we just might not have it. Somebody might just come into your life to be a really good friend.
Like I don't, there's a lot of factors that have to fall into place. But if you, but you were asking if everything's great, yeah, they're great on paper or all that stuff, but it's not there. Sometimes it's just not there. Yeah. Like that's just the magic.
And I have to say that people have to, I love that you said non-negotiable because it's I can't tell you how many people are like, everything's great and we're married, but we don't have great sex. We're married and have never been attracted. We have six kids.
And it's like, that's really tough when you've already like walked on the aisle and committed to somebody, but you're like, everything was great. But the sex, the sex is not a but. Sex is not an afterthought. Like that is what we're talking about. That sex is wellness. Sex is important. Your pleasure is important. And you have to prioritize it from the jump.
So again, if you're dating somebody and it's only been a few times you've gone out or it's been a few months and it just, you've tried, like I, someone recently reached out, they're like, I'm dating this person. And, and it's really like, they've tried to have conversations with them about a few things that weren't working. They weren't receptive.
They're like, but I really like, I'm like, listen, it's been three months. This is the honeymoon phase. If the sex isn't great right now, like, cut your losses. This is still, it's like, they're not open. They're showing you who they are right now. You know, you have enough information at this point.
Oh my God. I love this question because it's so true. Like you nailed it. The reason why we don't have these conversations with our partners is exactly that. We're afraid we're going to offend them. We're going to hurt their feelings. And we're like, I know it's not great, but I actually don't know what I want. So I think I'm just going to stay mute about it and hope it gets better.
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