Dr. Emily Morse
speaker
388 appearances
3 recordings
3 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard 17 Feb
Dr. Emily Morse’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 1.
Appearances
it doesn't get better.
Like, let me just tell you when you put the sex on the back burner, it's going to be staying on the back burner. And it's just, I just see so many people waiting for it. So my first thing is, is, is actually saying to your partner, you know, I always talk about timing, tone, and turf. It's my three T's for any conversation, especially a sex conversation.
This is a starting point, is if you haven't talked about sex yet, find the right time when you're not halt, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. You know when you're hanging out, it's a good environment. The tone is curious and compassionate and chill. And the turf is outside the bedroom. I actually think we should leave our bedrooms for sleeping and for sex.
And let's not make it to have like our really deep, heavy conversations around sex, especially if it's like you're already in a state of arousal and you feel rejected again. And then you're like, how come you never initiate or you don't want sex? Let's find a time when we are, yeah, just hanging out on a road trip, you know, hiking, walking. And then you could say, you know what?
I just, and I always have people blame me. Like, I was in sex with Emily and she said that most couples don't actually have productive, healthy conversations that move the needle about our sex lives. And she also cited a statistic that couples who do talk about their sex lives often have healthier, more satisfied sex lives. So I don't want to be that statistic. I want to be the couple that is.
So would you be open? Would you be willing to go on a sexual journey with me where we can have honest and open conversations about our sex life, about our desires, about our wants, about our likes or dislikes. Like, are you even open to that? And you know, you see what your partner says, hopefully they say yes. And then you get to start to explore. You can go into therapy together.
You could just think about what you've liked in the past. A great starting point is, okay, let's talk about the three most memorable times you've had sex together. And then from there, you'd be like, what was it about that time? Where were we? What was happening? It's sort of like your sexual DNA of your relationship.
So, I mean, there's a lot of other techniques and modalities, but I would say first, just start having a conversation. And again, remember that it's not a one-time conversation. You know, I've found that once couples get over that hump and the awkwardness, they actually learn to love these conversations. They actually can't live without them. It becomes...
the fuel and the life force of their relationship.
I love that. It's so, so important. I mean, I think that so many couples would benefit from that and I know it might not be accessible to everybody, but think of all the other things that we're doing in our life. And if you're like sharing that, how much it moves the needle and
We invest in so many other things in our relationship, but even just saying once a month, we're going to have a therapist that we check in with. It's really hard to do the work on your own. Like you will get into patterns that are going to get disruptive. Your libidos will suffer. You will have setbacks. You will have hard things happen.
And if you have a trusted coach or therapist that you can go to again, even once a month, once a quarter, it could be life-saving and life-giving for your relationship.
I love that you shared that. We all need it. We're never done.
Therapists of therapists. We all like, it's like, I don't think you ever, you don't arrive to a place. It's always evolving. And it's like, we hire coaches and we hire experts for every other area of our life, right? You know, heartbreaks down or toothpicks or like everything. But for some reason with these like, relationship issues or sex issues, we just feel like we have to suffer alone.
And you don't. There's so many great resources out there.
Well, I think part of it is, I hear this mostly from women. They say to me, I can't have casual sex because when I do, I catch feelings. And I would say that's another part of our cultural conditioning.
You can actually learn, train your body to be receiving pleasure fully and know that it's about your pleasure and be connected to somebody and feel safe with somebody and you don't have to fall in love with them. So I think that's a little bit of rewiring that we can do if we're open to it.
Now, that's a little bit of work, but I think that we could learn to with great boundaries and great communication skills, you can probably have great sex with somebody and make it more casual if they're open to it, be more open, say that you're dating other people. or have that, be honest about it.
I think today is like, I mean, honestly, in the last 20 years, I think that we're at such a good time right now. There's like apps for this. People are more open. They're talking about being open. But if you just want it to be casual, you know, mention that, be honest that you just want casual. What you're saying, I think what you asked was.
But did you like, what are the, so again, checking the feelings and saying, am I just prescribing the feelings to this person that's making me feel a certain way? Because it might not really be about them. It's that you feel safe with this person. They're willing to collaborate with you. They're willing to, they're holding space for you. They're making you feel safe.
Showing 281–300 of 388 · page 15 of 20
← Previous
Next →