Dr. Emily Morse
speaker
388 appearances
3 recordings
3 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard 17 Feb
Dr. Emily Morse’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Exactly. I understand why people say I don't want to schedule sex, because, again, that goes against everything we've told about sex, that if you have to talk... First of all, there are these notions that if you talk about sex, it means... that you're doomed, that you should be mind readers and you should figure it out. I'm telling you now that doesn't happen.
But when you do schedule sex and you're like, okay, I know that Saturday night is the best night for us to have sex. I'm not going to try to do it on Wednesday or Thursday when it's not going to be ideal, but we know that it's Saturday. Then we know how to reverse engineer it and say, these are all the things that need to be in place for us to be ready to
be intimate that night, whether it's getting a babysitter for the kids, it's getting myself into the mindset to be ready for sex. And also, you know, again, having these conversations with our partners about sex that's ongoing. It's not a one-time conversation. It's not a conversation that you have when there's only a problem.
In fact, I encourage everybody to today have that conversation with your partner and say, you know what? I've just learned, I'm listening to Drew's podcast, and I learned today that actually couples who talk about sex have better sex. I realize that it's something that maybe we've never done before, but we can also, in this interview, kind of lay out how people can do that.
But I want people to find out if they're with a partner, hopefully they are with a partner who has a growth mindset around sex and realizes that this is something that we're going to have to work on our intimacy, commit to a plan, and stick with it and honor each other's desires, wants, and needs to make the sex really satisfying and hot.
Exactly. No, exactly. And I love that you're saying that. So we're talking about the high desire, the low desire. One partner is going to want to and the other isn't. Absolutely. But I also want to note that... Usually it's one partner thinks that they have to do everything. Like they're the one that's driving the conversation and the one that has to do all the heavy lifting.
And eventually you're gonna get to a place where you're both working on it. But yes, to answer your question, typically it's one person that's like, okay, let's talk about it. I realize we haven't. And can we create a really safe environment
honest, loving space for us to have these conversations that are gentle and nurturing and caring and loving and acknowledging that the world is not set up for this, that our past messages, our religion, our upbringing, our background, our past relationships in no way set any of us up to have conversations about sex.
So even just acknowledging to your partner, like, I know this might sound weird or awkward, or maybe you're having some defense come up right now that
you know, I'm doing something wrong, and I think you just have to at this point say, I know this, babe, I know this might be sort of jolting to you, and it might feel threatening to you, but I really think that if we can agree that we're just gonna start having conversations about it, we can both become really great, beautiful lovers to each other. Like, are you on board?
And again, not a one-time conversation. You don't figure everything out. It's not, you know, but it's, that might be your first conversation. It's just saying, would you agree that, or would you be willing to start exploring with us?
And I'm telling you, Drew, I'm telling you, the couples who, and we're going to talk about this, move through this shame and all the obstacles that are coming up, because I even hear people going, but... You don't even know what's been going on in my life. I do. I get it.
But we're going to move past that because the exciting thing is that when couples do move past all the blocks, then they have the incredible, connected, beautiful, loving sex that they desire.
Yeah, I'll talk about that because it's really, really, it's actually very important because it's not just like we're talking about, I'm trying to think of another conversation that might be easy. Like, are we, you know, where are we going on our summer trip? Or even conversations about money. Although this... tactic could be used then too. This is a really delicate conversation.
So I have the three T's of communication, which is timing, tone, and turf. And so, because I don't recommend that you just, you know, when you're in the bedroom and your partner, you feel like something's gone wrong sexually and you feel rejected again to bring up sex. No, we have to be very, very mindful about this conversation. So timing, tone, and turf is timing.
Find a time when you are just the two of you are relaxing, you're hanging out, maybe it's date night. And I always wanna say, you're not halt, you're not hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Those are not the times to have any awkward or serious conversations. The tone is curious and open and supportive and loving and light. Maybe do some breath work beforehand.
You make sure that you're coming from a place of collaboration. And the turf for this conversation is outside the bedroom. I just would love people to consider your bedroom as a place for sleeping and for sex.
And it's not a place to have these conversations because often people think, well, we're having sex or something just happened awkward in the bedroom or I got rejected again when I made an advance and this would be the time to have it. I couldn't be further from the truth that a great time to have it is when you are perhaps out taking a walk.
You're not making eye contact, which can still be very awkward for people. Or you're on a road trip. Those are great times to have these conversations. Then that's when you would say, hey, let's talk about something that we haven't before. Let's talk about our intimate life.
Absolutely. And this is exactly, this is exactly it that if your partner and they might, because going back to your question, I really want to unpack that. If they've stonewalled or they said, this is off limits, I am never talking about sex. And I'm telling you, I hear this all the time. I hear from the partner who's, you know, wants to talk and their partner is completely shut down.
Showing 341–360 of 388 · page 18 of 20
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