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Dr. Erin Foster

👤 Person
72 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

Well, this kind of behavior continues. One, it exists for two reasons, psychologically and then behaviorally. Why does it persist? That comes down to how self-aware are you and how willing are you to increase your insight about your self-awareness? And the root of this is deep insecurity. That seems obvious, but the insecurity is rooted in fear.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

Well, this kind of behavior continues. One, it exists for two reasons, psychologically and then behaviorally. Why does it persist? That comes down to how self-aware are you and how willing are you to increase your insight about your self-awareness? And the root of this is deep insecurity. That seems obvious, but the insecurity is rooted in fear.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

Well, this kind of behavior continues. One, it exists for two reasons, psychologically and then behaviorally. Why does it persist? That comes down to how self-aware are you and how willing are you to increase your insight about your self-awareness? And the root of this is deep insecurity. That seems obvious, but the insecurity is rooted in fear.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

The reason this persists is that some sort of childhood wound, some lack of attachment continues to persist into adulthood. So that's the psychology behind this is what wound, what attachment is not secure and And now you have this self-seeking, very deeply insecure, attention-seeking behavior. And the thought, the belief is, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy enough.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

The reason this persists is that some sort of childhood wound, some lack of attachment continues to persist into adulthood. So that's the psychology behind this is what wound, what attachment is not secure and And now you have this self-seeking, very deeply insecure, attention-seeking behavior. And the thought, the belief is, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy enough.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

The reason this persists is that some sort of childhood wound, some lack of attachment continues to persist into adulthood. So that's the psychology behind this is what wound, what attachment is not secure and And now you have this self-seeking, very deeply insecure, attention-seeking behavior. And the thought, the belief is, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy enough.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

And I am terrified that somebody else is going to think the same thing about me. So what am I going to do? I'm going to project and I'm going to put it onto somebody else. And This is really a reflection of how someone thinks and feels about themselves. So we know hurt people hurt people.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

And I am terrified that somebody else is going to think the same thing about me. So what am I going to do? I'm going to project and I'm going to put it onto somebody else. And This is really a reflection of how someone thinks and feels about themselves. So we know hurt people hurt people.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

And I am terrified that somebody else is going to think the same thing about me. So what am I going to do? I'm going to project and I'm going to put it onto somebody else. And This is really a reflection of how someone thinks and feels about themselves. So we know hurt people hurt people.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

That's right. It doesn't. And let's call this what it is, bullying. And bullying is really abuse. So let's take a deeper look at the behavior behind bullying. I'm a behavioral analyst and I look at four areas of behavior in how you do something and then six areas of why do you do it, your value, your motivation. One of the scales is about power and control.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

That's right. It doesn't. And let's call this what it is, bullying. And bullying is really abuse. So let's take a deeper look at the behavior behind bullying. I'm a behavioral analyst and I look at four areas of behavior in how you do something and then six areas of why do you do it, your value, your motivation. One of the scales is about power and control.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

That's right. It doesn't. And let's call this what it is, bullying. And bullying is really abuse. So let's take a deeper look at the behavior behind bullying. I'm a behavioral analyst and I look at four areas of behavior in how you do something and then six areas of why do you do it, your value, your motivation. One of the scales is about power and control.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

So if you do not have a healthy self-awareness, if you do not. Also, if you haven't been modeled how to treat people, you will want to have power and control over others. Now, when you combine that with somebody. who wants to get ahead, who is looking to produce a result with this behavior, now they become incredibly dominant. And then when you see that dominance, that's the bullying.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

So if you do not have a healthy self-awareness, if you do not. Also, if you haven't been modeled how to treat people, you will want to have power and control over others. Now, when you combine that with somebody. who wants to get ahead, who is looking to produce a result with this behavior, now they become incredibly dominant. And then when you see that dominance, that's the bullying.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

So if you do not have a healthy self-awareness, if you do not. Also, if you haven't been modeled how to treat people, you will want to have power and control over others. Now, when you combine that with somebody. who wants to get ahead, who is looking to produce a result with this behavior, now they become incredibly dominant. And then when you see that dominance, that's the bullying.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

And then the abuse comes out when it's, I want to have power over you.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

And then the abuse comes out when it's, I want to have power over you.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

And then the abuse comes out when it's, I want to have power over you.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

We do know better and there is no excuse for it. And it's it's petty. and it's immature. And if we look at it from an evolutionary anthropological perspective, you had to think about self-preservation in order to survive. And I like what you're saying about the strongest, fittest man, the one who could provide food, is how you would survive. That's deeply rooted in our DNA.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan
The Real Jon Hamm is Not Who You Think, Plus What Happens When "Mean Girls" Grow Up and Get Meaner

We do know better and there is no excuse for it. And it's it's petty. and it's immature. And if we look at it from an evolutionary anthropological perspective, you had to think about self-preservation in order to survive. And I like what you're saying about the strongest, fittest man, the one who could provide food, is how you would survive. That's deeply rooted in our DNA.

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