Dr. Harry Barry

So they become nearly obsessed with any imperfections, which of course we all know are inevitable in life.

So if we have a child who, say, tries to play a musical instrument and does some lessons and realises that they're not going to be in the National Concert Orchestra or playing with a band and then gives up that pursuit because they know they're not going to be brilliant at it.

Is that sort of a flashing light there, a danger sign?

I think the key thing for me is the second part, that they rate themselves as a failure if they can't achieve it.

You know, in other words, it's quite normal for all of us to try different things, find we're not great at them and maybe decide to back them in.

But I think the problem with the perfectionists is that they are most concerned that they will be exposed as failures.

That's really their real, real concern.

And, you know, the secret to this is because it's important that many, many people with perfectionism suffer from anxiety and they also are more likely to get depressed.

They're more likely to get into other mental health difficulties.

So the long term studies are very interesting because you would expect that a perfectionist would do better in all areas of life.

But the very interesting information is

that they often struggle academically.

They don't do as well at work.

They don't have as successful relationships.

And even though the employers might love to have a perfectionist on their team, in fact, the consequences to the person are actually

It's sometimes quite extreme, particularly in the area of anxiety.

So I love dealing with perfectionism because it's something that we can practically do something about.

You know what I mean?

This is for me the key.

If we can identify it quickly in people and then teach them techniques, that's the whole secret to perfectionism.