Dr. Harville Hendrix

speaker

468 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 7 Jul

Dr. Harville Hendrix’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Romantic love is all about you meet my needs.

Power struggle is all about you didn't meet my needs.

The third stage, which is built into relationship, is we have to move to another place.

where we meet each other's needs.

That helps the power struggle work better, but it doesn't end the frustration, because somebody is always gonna blow it.

So you really have to make a cognitive decision that I need to reframe my view of you as a blessing instead of a resource.

And when I see you as a blessing, that generates a gratitude.

And now it's amazing what gratitude does to the brain.

Gratitude cuts off that deep yearning that never got met in childhood, cuts it off.

It actually goes away.

I don't no longer have that yearning.

And so then we live supporting each other's full potential.

Absolutely.

And this is where the dialogue process is the engine of that conversation.

So the therapist holds a couple looking at each other and essentially gives them words to say to get them started.

Because the brain, I don't think we human beings have evolved to this point yet.

but it's obviously on the way or it wouldn't have shown up in my mind.

So you hold this couple in this conversation and they're going to wiggle, but you don't wiggle.

You hold them in the conversation.

And at some point, they relax enough to drop their defenses.

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