Dr. Harville Hendrix

speaker

468 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 7 Jul

Dr. Harville Hendrix’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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A Bit of Optimism · Why We Fall for the Wrong Person with Couples Therapist Dr. Harville Hendrix · 7 Jul 2026 podcast

And when it happens, you can't stop it from happening.

Because your brain has now seen a person of opposite sex or same sex, doesn't matter.

whose personality is similar to a caretaker in childhood from whom you did not get your needs met.

So there's a yearning left over from infancy and childhood, and the brain is committed to survival.

So the brain has to find a replica of that caretaker who didn't meet your needs to put you in relationship with so that you can still try to get those needs met

But they can't be met because the person you fall in love with is similar to the caretaker who didn't meet them.

So your unconscious will look at this woman or man and your unconscious will say, mommy, mommy, the mommy who was not available.

So the brain has an agenda.

It has to finish that agenda to get the unavailable mommy available.

Unfortunately, I know it doesn't make any sense.

That's what you do.

And this is healthy?

It's nature.

Nature's trying to finish an agenda that it didn't get to finish in the parenting period of childhood.

Nature's trying to finish that.

And it's simple.

It's about survival.

Yeah.

So the baby doesn't get the needs met.

So the brain is left with, I could die until I get this need met.

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