Dr. Julie Smith

And often, it has something to tell you about what you need at the time. And so, for example, in that kind of new mom scenario, usually, that's around, I need human connection. I need some reassurance. I need adult conversation, or I need to feel safe in this situation. And And so the answers start to appear when you're just willing to look at the emotion and ask, what are you telling me?

What is this? And sometimes it has a lot to say and other times it might not have a lot to say and that's okay too because what we teach in kind of emotion regulation work is to feel an emotion, look at it and say, is this warranted? And is it proportionate to the situation?

What is this? And sometimes it has a lot to say and other times it might not have a lot to say and that's okay too because what we teach in kind of emotion regulation work is to feel an emotion, look at it and say, is this warranted? And is it proportionate to the situation?

What is this? And sometimes it has a lot to say and other times it might not have a lot to say and that's okay too because what we teach in kind of emotion regulation work is to feel an emotion, look at it and say, is this warranted? And is it proportionate to the situation?

Because sometimes if I haven't had enough sleep or I'm dehydrated or I've had too much coffee, I might have a really extreme reaction to something that I would normally have a small reaction to. So that would be disproportionate to the situation because of those other factors that made me vulnerable to that. So if you're willing to kind of look at, okay, what's going on here and

Because sometimes if I haven't had enough sleep or I'm dehydrated or I've had too much coffee, I might have a really extreme reaction to something that I would normally have a small reaction to. So that would be disproportionate to the situation because of those other factors that made me vulnerable to that. So if you're willing to kind of look at, okay, what's going on here and

Because sometimes if I haven't had enough sleep or I'm dehydrated or I've had too much coffee, I might have a really extreme reaction to something that I would normally have a small reaction to. So that would be disproportionate to the situation because of those other factors that made me vulnerable to that. So if you're willing to kind of look at, okay, what's going on here and

then the answers start to appear. But because so many of us are not willing to look at it with curiosity, we just judge ourselves for the fact we've had the feeling and then we try to numb it and push it away. And then we're in a battle.

then the answers start to appear. But because so many of us are not willing to look at it with curiosity, we just judge ourselves for the fact we've had the feeling and then we try to numb it and push it away. And then we're in a battle.

then the answers start to appear. But because so many of us are not willing to look at it with curiosity, we just judge ourselves for the fact we've had the feeling and then we try to numb it and push it away. And then we're in a battle.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think that probably brings us to the one tool that I probably use the most in the most formal way from therapy, because it's just so helpful, is the values stuff. So it's just working out what matters most to me at this point in my life. because that changes and fluctuates, right? Okay.

And I think that probably brings us to the one tool that I probably use the most in the most formal way from therapy, because it's just so helpful, is the values stuff. So it's just working out what matters most to me at this point in my life. because that changes and fluctuates, right? Okay.

And I think that probably brings us to the one tool that I probably use the most in the most formal way from therapy, because it's just so helpful, is the values stuff. So it's just working out what matters most to me at this point in my life. because that changes and fluctuates, right? Okay.

And so every few months, or sometimes when I just feel a bit out of sorts and I feel like life's, you know, everything's upside down, I will just get a piece of paper and I'll split it into different boxes and I'll have all the different aspects of my life. So there'll be parenting, marriage, friendships, health, education, career, whatever, you name it. I'll put them all out.

And so every few months, or sometimes when I just feel a bit out of sorts and I feel like life's, you know, everything's upside down, I will just get a piece of paper and I'll split it into different boxes and I'll have all the different aspects of my life. So there'll be parenting, marriage, friendships, health, education, career, whatever, you name it. I'll put them all out.

And so every few months, or sometimes when I just feel a bit out of sorts and I feel like life's, you know, everything's upside down, I will just get a piece of paper and I'll split it into different boxes and I'll have all the different aspects of my life. So there'll be parenting, marriage, friendships, health, education, career, whatever, you name it. I'll put them all out.

And then in each box, I'll just ask myself, what matters most to me in this area of my life? So not what I want to happen to me, but how I want to show up in good times and bad. So what I want to kind of represent in that part of my life. So I might have a few words or a few sentences, and then I'll rate that just a crudely kind of out of 10.