Dr. Karl Pillemer

So I think that the insight you've said is really, really key to them, that you waste an extraordinary amount of time

And money.

And money.

Focusing on what other people think.

Now, let me qualify that.

Okay.

There are some times where they really want you to consult other people and really want you to be concerned about what other people think.

One of their strongest pieces of advice about finding a mate is really listen if nobody else likes your prospective partner.

That is, if none of your- Wait, hold on.

They said, over and over, they said, if only I'd listened.

If it's just one person, but if everybody you know is saying, this guy is not right for you, and they're repeatedly saying it, and your impulse is to say, you're all wrong.

You don't understand him.

Over and over, that was a major life regret because very often your friends and family have your interests at heart.

So they do want you to listen to other people around those kinds of decisions.

But that's very different from doing something just because you want them to think better of you.

You know, they want you to listen to others.

No, not, of course, if it's because of a prejudice, if it's because of, you know, like some kind of stereotyping.

But if everybody thinks this is not the person for you, there's a chance they could be right.

You're right.

I mentioned that one of the biggest regrets that really surprised me, again, as I said, I was expecting affairs or criminal behavior or whatever.