Dr. Karl Pillemer

So that you can think about that.

you know, that you are going to value experiences and people way more.

And let me say one other thing about that.

The older Americans don't want you to be starving artists.

I mean, a lot of them, I'm sorry, apologies to starving artists, that's fine.

But they want to make sure that you prioritize that what you do is enjoyable and fulfilling.

One of my favorite interviewees, who was a very successful entrepreneur, summed it up.

He said, I loved what I did and I made money doing it.

So it was in that order.

So I do think this notion that I would say a principle regret is failing to be present, failing to be intentional, and failing to be active towards people who we love and like in our life and being distracted about so many other things.

And I can guarantee almost everybody that's what you're going to think about at the end of life.

If I could sum up their advice, I think they would be fairly radical looking back over their own lives and would endorse a statement like,

don't do anything because you think it would impress somebody else.

That is, don't make a purchase, don't make a choice.

As much as you can, don't do something because you think it would increase other people's opinions of you.

Now, it's not bad to want people to like you.

It's not bad sometimes to try to fulfill other people's expectations.

But as a major motivation,

to give something concrete.

If you're buying a car, extract from your mind what other people will think of that car.