Dr. Karl Pillemer

So you need to resolve things beforehand.

Now, you don't need to think that as a young person.

But I thought that they really felt very strongly that a grudge that continues for more than a day,

or two is very diagnostic.

You know, it really calls for attention and that their sense of the fragility of these relationships.

So I thought that was interesting too.

I totally agree.

And it also, it's like a mediation.

You know, you set a deadline.

And so, you know, like it gives you a deadline by which, yes, you have to apologize or express understanding.

This was one of the most profound regrets.

Over and over, people said, I wish I had expressed love more.

I wish I had asked for forgiveness.

Because that is a truly...

time-limited possibility.

Unless you believe in seances, it's going to be too late eventually to ask forgiveness, to offer an explanation, to offer an apology.

You know what else it's too late for sometimes?

Asking for information.

You may desperately want to know what

you know, your father didn't Vietnam or something like that, and it will be too late even to find out things.