Dr. Karl Pillemer

So I would argue that that is a very actionable thing for listeners.

If you are pondering saying something now, if you have something on your mind, if you're wondering about whether to do any of those things,

you know, use the five-second rule.

I mean, sort of.

I mean, if I can bring that in, I mean, I would say just do it.

I mean, really, really just do it.

One of the things I found in the estrangement work

is how often people who had been waiting and waiting and waiting, they were going to call the brother, they hadn't talked for 10 years.

More than one person described it as a backpack they'd been wearing, this very heavy backpack.

One man said, yeah, you know, I woke up the next morning and realized I don't have to think about why I don't talk to my brother anymore.

So that saying things now is beneficial for you.

Mel, I would even suggest that people think

Is there something I should be saying that I'm not?

So for example, I know parents don't wear their kids because, well, because parents think their kids know it.

Don't look their kid in the eye and say, you know, I'm just really proud of how you've turned out.

You know, like, I just want you to know that we've had our issues, but what you've done is really remarkable.

You know, I did a thing, even like I had a beloved college professor who was nearing the end of her life, and I didn't think about it, but I sort of five-seconded, fine, I said, I'm just nearby, I'm going to go see her.

And the feeling before the end of her life of expressing the gratitude for advancing my career, I think it's an excellent exercise.

What am I not saying right now that

If it were too late, I would really regret.