Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Let me tell you what he did yesterday. And suddenly, you know, we're back talking about the emotionally immature person's issues with no sense of, you know, sticking to the subject of the other person.

Right, right. Where's the line? Okay. If you think of emotional maturity and immaturity as being on a continuum, all of us have a spot that we tend to hang out on that continuum. It doesn't mean that we stay there no matter what. For instance, like, if you're tired or you're sick or you're stressed...

Right, right. Where's the line? Okay. If you think of emotional maturity and immaturity as being on a continuum, all of us have a spot that we tend to hang out on that continuum. It doesn't mean that we stay there no matter what. For instance, like, if you're tired or you're sick or you're stressed...

I can guarantee that you are not going to be as emotionally mature as you could when you're rested and well and not stressed. I mean, that's just what happens. We all slide down the scale when we have those kinds of stresses.

I can guarantee that you are not going to be as emotionally mature as you could when you're rested and well and not stressed. I mean, that's just what happens. We all slide down the scale when we have those kinds of stresses.

However, if you're in one of these other compromised states, you may not be at your finest moment and you may do some things that look immature, but it's going to bother you. You're not going to feel okay about what you did. In fact, you're going to think about what you did. The emotionally immature person, it's like, you know, that was in the past. That was then, this is now.

However, if you're in one of these other compromised states, you may not be at your finest moment and you may do some things that look immature, but it's going to bother you. You're not going to feel okay about what you did. In fact, you're going to think about what you did. The emotionally immature person, it's like, you know, that was in the past. That was then, this is now.

Why are you wallowing in it and why are you still upset? the more emotionally mature person would totally get why you're still upset because they have empathy and because they're self-aware emotionally. They know that you don't get over things just because time passes.

Why are you wallowing in it and why are you still upset? the more emotionally mature person would totally get why you're still upset because they have empathy and because they're self-aware emotionally. They know that you don't get over things just because time passes.

So they're going to come back and they're going to do something that indicates that they have felt for the other person's experience.

So they're going to come back and they're going to do something that indicates that they have felt for the other person's experience.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's a really, that's a great question. I can just tell you what tends to happen in therapy is that the person comes in and they have some immediate issue, right? Maybe they're having a problem in their relationship or their work. Maybe they just had a panic attack. They have no idea what's going on. And usually, first few sessions, you don't necessarily hear about the parent.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's a really, that's a great question. I can just tell you what tends to happen in therapy is that the person comes in and they have some immediate issue, right? Maybe they're having a problem in their relationship or their work. Maybe they just had a panic attack. They have no idea what's going on. And usually, first few sessions, you don't necessarily hear about the parent.

But then, you know, like five, six sessions in, you ask them, you know, before you begin feeling so low, what had happened that evening? And then, you know, you come to find out that their dad said something that was completely disrespectful or, you know, whatever. And you begin to, you know, like make those connections. What I tended to find out was that when we delved into the feelings of

But then, you know, like five, six sessions in, you ask them, you know, before you begin feeling so low, what had happened that evening? And then, you know, you come to find out that their dad said something that was completely disrespectful or, you know, whatever. And you begin to, you know, like make those connections. What I tended to find out was that when we delved into the feelings of

we come to find out that, yeah, they were having very deep reactions to things that their parents did and said, but they had been trained to not see that as legitimate. That had been so invalidated, they thought that they were, you know, being disloyal or petty for even bringing it up. As a therapist, I would be sitting there and my mind would be going,

we come to find out that, yeah, they were having very deep reactions to things that their parents did and said, but they had been trained to not see that as legitimate. That had been so invalidated, they thought that they were, you know, being disloyal or petty for even bringing it up. As a therapist, I would be sitting there and my mind would be going,

you know, oh my gosh, that person is so narcissistic that they're describing, or she sounds like a borderline personality disorder, but I'm not going to say that to my client. So I would have to find ways of elaborately translating that into behavior so that we could talk about it without labeling them in a way that made their parents sound pathological.

you know, oh my gosh, that person is so narcissistic that they're describing, or she sounds like a borderline personality disorder, but I'm not going to say that to my client. So I would have to find ways of elaborately translating that into behavior so that we could talk about it without labeling them in a way that made their parents sound pathological.

I think you could argue that. There's no way of getting around that you're boiling down this person that they love into a set of traits, and it calls them a name. It's pejorative. But when you say emotionally immature, it's not from the diagnostic manual. And although, yeah, it is a way of categorizing them, but it has a, to me anyway, it has a more explanatory kind of tone to it.