Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Yeah, you know, I think if you ever watch little kids, their default mode is happiness. And that's because they're spontaneously going and doing the next interesting thing. They just naturally are following their energies of the moment. So I think that's what happens with people too.

If we take away some of the things that have been holding them back, if they feel released to say no to the things that kill their energy... if they don't feel guilted into acting more compassionate or loving than they really feel, if we take these things off of them, it's like a cork that bobs to the top of the water.

If we take away some of the things that have been holding them back, if they feel released to say no to the things that kill their energy... if they don't feel guilted into acting more compassionate or loving than they really feel, if we take these things off of them, it's like a cork that bobs to the top of the water.

The emotionally immature person needs other people to emotionally stabilize them, keep them calm, make them happy, and also to buffer their self-esteem, make sure they keep feeling good about themselves. That is a terrible drag on a person.

The emotionally immature person needs other people to emotionally stabilize them, keep them calm, make them happy, and also to buffer their self-esteem, make sure they keep feeling good about themselves. That is a terrible drag on a person.

That's exhausting when we can get the idea that we're not in this world to function as a sort of an auxiliary coping mechanism for people who can't do it for themselves. we begin to feel our energy coming back. You know, that's what happiness is. Happiness is like free energy. Happiness is, I get to go and do the next thing that I feel like doing.

That's exhausting when we can get the idea that we're not in this world to function as a sort of an auxiliary coping mechanism for people who can't do it for themselves. we begin to feel our energy coming back. You know, that's what happiness is. Happiness is like free energy. Happiness is, I get to go and do the next thing that I feel like doing.

Not in a, you know, hedonistic, inconsiderate kind of way, but I just get to follow my nose for what my own individual interests are. And that's what makes us happy. along with some of these emotionally mature skills in relationships that keep things, you know, relatively satisfying between ourselves and the people that we love, that all adds up to happiness.

Not in a, you know, hedonistic, inconsiderate kind of way, but I just get to follow my nose for what my own individual interests are. And that's what makes us happy. along with some of these emotionally mature skills in relationships that keep things, you know, relatively satisfying between ourselves and the people that we love, that all adds up to happiness.

We do have something inside us, and this is what I would call the core self, which is very based in the body. It's very based in emotion. And this core self tells us when we are getting what we need or when we're being treated badly.

We do have something inside us, and this is what I would call the core self, which is very based in the body. It's very based in emotion. And this core self tells us when we are getting what we need or when we're being treated badly.

Hey, David. How are you this morning?

Hey, David. How are you this morning?

Oh, no. Yeah. No, I don't think we should do anything without compassion at some level. It's not that we don't want to have compassion, but what I'm talking about is that with the people that I worked with in psychotherapy, the adult children of these emotionally immature parents, the problem was really an excess of compassion, that they were trained and

Oh, no. Yeah. No, I don't think we should do anything without compassion at some level. It's not that we don't want to have compassion, but what I'm talking about is that with the people that I worked with in psychotherapy, the adult children of these emotionally immature parents, the problem was really an excess of compassion, that they were trained and

and guilted and shamed into having for these parents, okay? It's involuntary on the part of the emotionally immature parents, nothing diabolical here. And so when people come to me and they have been conditioned into this sort of compassionate attitude, I take it on myself to have them examine that dynamic

and guilted and shamed into having for these parents, okay? It's involuntary on the part of the emotionally immature parents, nothing diabolical here. And so when people come to me and they have been conditioned into this sort of compassionate attitude, I take it on myself to have them examine that dynamic

What I've seen is that the compassion takes over the instinctual self-preservation, and the person feels too guilty, too ashamed, and too self-doubting to even think about what's healthy for them. Absolutely.

What I've seen is that the compassion takes over the instinctual self-preservation, and the person feels too guilty, too ashamed, and too self-doubting to even think about what's healthy for them. Absolutely.

Yeah, well, I don't think there's much possibility of change unless you have the self-reflection, okay? And you have the self-reflection because you have a sense of self. And you develop the sense of self because your emotional needs have been met And you have been responded to as a little human being early enough that that sense of self gets in there.