Dr. Orna Guralnik

I mean, there is this funny situation with couples.

One of the typical situations that couples present with is that one is sort of louder than the other, or one is the complainer and the other is the defender.

That makes a lot of sense.

There's this kind of classic distribution.

And sometimes, unfortunately, the louder one, the one that complains is the first person that I have to put a lot of pressure on.

to lower the volume so that the other person can come forth.

So they often can feel a little bit like, oh, the pressure's on me.

What about the other one?

But I typically explain to them that that's what's going on.

No, no difference.

No difference.

Sometimes it's the men, sometimes it's the women, it's not.

Yes.

People are afraid of that.

Very openly.

I mean, I understand those kind of fears that people have and I talk about it explicitly.

And I get people to speak about their anxieties and I share honestly my experience.

When you're afraid of therapy because you're avoiding stuff, it's going to bite you at the end, whether you're in therapy or not.

It's going to show up, so you might as well tackle it.

And I explain to people that ultimately what happens in therapy is not like you don't get shamed.