Dr. Orna Guralnik

You don't find out, oh, how fucked up you are.

You find out what's bothering you and how do I make things better.

It's not like a process of condemning people.

It's a process of helping people.

And generally that's what happens.

People suddenly realize, oh, I'm actually their ally.

I'm not there to like judge them or shame them.

Right.

Good question.

I like the analogy, no running at the pool.

I'm going to talk specifically now about like moving in with someone.

Yeah, please.

The general principle, what really helps relationships thrive is respect for the other person's difference.

If I had to say like my one principle that I really think of when I work with couples, and it's kind of the thread in my book as well, is like,

Just you have to understand that relationships can bring you a lot of joy and happiness and satisfaction, but they really require you to accept the fact that you're living with another person and to try as much as possible to respect that.

So make space for them in your apartment, accept their idiosyncrasies, the way they want to move around and the way they want to spend their time, like just have a lot of mutual space and respect.

I think that's the main don't run around the pool.

Give them the space.

Give them the respect.

Like remind yourself, that's what I love about them.