Dr Paul Eastwick

But with other people, it's going to go the other way.

And the issue is that different perceivers sort of go along those tracks differently for the same target.

So you might find that somebody gets more appealing.

I find that they get less appealing.

That leads us to diverge more over time.

I think it is really, really lucky that people do this because what this means is that, okay, I'm a six.

I'm not going to date a 10.

Ah, but I might get to date somebody who I think is a 10.

And maybe, you know, she might be a six, too, but she thinks I'm a 10.

And that's where the magic is.

That's how people form stable, committed relationships, because they're able to get in a relationship where they aren't really thinking that much about trading up because they think they won the lottery, even if other people don't agree.

Yeah, I mean, it's easiest when we're discussing it like this to talk about hot or not.

We're always doing it on scales.

It's like variance shared.

In the form of dating, absolutely, in the form of dating where you have those cutoffs that you just described.

So online dating is a perfect example.

But even if we're in the mindset of the way I date is I approach strangers, parties, bars, on the street, I mean, God bless, however people wanna do it, yes.

But historically, we have found other ways.

There are many, many contexts

where we interact with other people and like you don't have a choice whether to opt out or not.