Dr. Rosalind Chow

is when people are answering the question, they have complete, I wouldn't say control, but basically they have a certain amount of airtime that they're required to fill up by speaking. And the other person is not allowed to respond. So the other person can only listen. And we do this over three different rounds. The first round is two minutes. The second round is five minutes.

is when people are answering the question, they have complete, I wouldn't say control, but basically they have a certain amount of airtime that they're required to fill up by speaking. And the other person is not allowed to respond. So the other person can only listen. And we do this over three different rounds. The first round is two minutes. The second round is five minutes.

The third round is eight minutes. So you very quickly as a speaker, learn that you run out of things you want to say about something quickly. And it's really hard for the listeners too, because they really want to interject. They really want to talk about how they understand the other person's experience. They want to share about their own experience.

The third round is eight minutes. So you very quickly as a speaker, learn that you run out of things you want to say about something quickly. And it's really hard for the listeners too, because they really want to interject. They really want to talk about how they understand the other person's experience. They want to share about their own experience.

The third round is eight minutes. So you very quickly as a speaker, learn that you run out of things you want to say about something quickly. And it's really hard for the listeners too, because they really want to interject. They really want to talk about how they understand the other person's experience. They want to share about their own experience.

But when we're done with the exercise, there's a couple of key takeaways that the students usually come away with, which is one, it's really liberating to speak to someone who doesn't seem to have an agenda about where they want the conversation to go. And so that's what the whole, like not being able to respond part does for them. Right.

But when we're done with the exercise, there's a couple of key takeaways that the students usually come away with, which is one, it's really liberating to speak to someone who doesn't seem to have an agenda about where they want the conversation to go. And so that's what the whole, like not being able to respond part does for them. Right.

But when we're done with the exercise, there's a couple of key takeaways that the students usually come away with, which is one, it's really liberating to speak to someone who doesn't seem to have an agenda about where they want the conversation to go. And so that's what the whole, like not being able to respond part does for them. Right.

It makes it so that they know that they have this freedom and they end up sharing so much more about themselves than they ever would have imagined. Some of them will say, I haven't even told my partner some of these things, you know, and then for the listeners, what most of them realize is that so many of us listen to respond. We listen because we want to know what we want to say next.

It makes it so that they know that they have this freedom and they end up sharing so much more about themselves than they ever would have imagined. Some of them will say, I haven't even told my partner some of these things, you know, and then for the listeners, what most of them realize is that so many of us listen to respond. We listen because we want to know what we want to say next.

It makes it so that they know that they have this freedom and they end up sharing so much more about themselves than they ever would have imagined. Some of them will say, I haven't even told my partner some of these things, you know, and then for the listeners, what most of them realize is that so many of us listen to respond. We listen because we want to know what we want to say next.

Like that, like we're not fully in the moment with the other person when we're listening. And they realized that when they let go of this notion that they had to know how they should respond next, that actually also let them listen in a way that they were not accustomed to.

Like that, like we're not fully in the moment with the other person when we're listening. And they realized that when they let go of this notion that they had to know how they should respond next, that actually also let them listen in a way that they were not accustomed to.

Like that, like we're not fully in the moment with the other person when we're listening. And they realized that when they let go of this notion that they had to know how they should respond next, that actually also let them listen in a way that they were not accustomed to.

And so maybe what I would suggest for some of your listeners is if you're looking for an assignment to do right, is one finding someone you want to learn a little bit more about, but then go into that conversation and see how much you can just listen in that conversation without putting yourself in there. You can ask questions. I think clarifying questions are really good, but turns out we

And so maybe what I would suggest for some of your listeners is if you're looking for an assignment to do right, is one finding someone you want to learn a little bit more about, but then go into that conversation and see how much you can just listen in that conversation without putting yourself in there. You can ask questions. I think clarifying questions are really good, but turns out we

And so maybe what I would suggest for some of your listeners is if you're looking for an assignment to do right, is one finding someone you want to learn a little bit more about, but then go into that conversation and see how much you can just listen in that conversation without putting yourself in there. You can ask questions. I think clarifying questions are really good, but turns out we

provide a lot of feedback to people who are speaking that guides their behavior and shapes what they're willing to tell us. And so if we can just be a little bit more mindful of those, Little tells that we give up you want it, you want the other person to know that you're paying attention.

provide a lot of feedback to people who are speaking that guides their behavior and shapes what they're willing to tell us. And so if we can just be a little bit more mindful of those, Little tells that we give up you want it, you want the other person to know that you're paying attention.

provide a lot of feedback to people who are speaking that guides their behavior and shapes what they're willing to tell us. And so if we can just be a little bit more mindful of those, Little tells that we give up you want it, you want the other person to know that you're paying attention.