Dr Sally Holloway
speaker
55 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Dr Sally Holloway’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Yeah.
He'd breached his contract to marry. Therefore, she could sue him for damages, but also for her hurt feelings. Wow.
It shows sort of in one sense, the courts are sort of tipping the balance of power towards women. You did have that legal recourse if you needed it. But also it was because of this presumption that women suffered much more than men suffered. From romantic hurt.
So men in many ways were expected to get over it, whereas women often biologically incapable of getting over it in some ways in popular culture because they were so much more sensitive and consumed with feeling.
Yeah.
No, it's a bit more under the radar, a bit more just you, a few friends, your parents maybe. Might buy some new clothes, didn't have to. And if you did, you wouldn't just wear it once, you'd then continue wearing it afterwards. But you might wear silver and white, especially if you're very wealthy towards the end of the century.
But yeah, it wasn't until the Victorians you had this big white wedding.
You might have a little honeymoon, but it wouldn't necessarily be on your own. The bride's sister often went with her. Oh, nice. Oh, lovely. Just to help sort of ease her into this new role as a wife.
It was quite a shock to the system, I think, for a lot of people being completely on your own with a partner when you'd only just married them and, you know, you've got a new family, new life, new household. If you think like Mr and Mrs Rushworth in Mansfield Park, they go on a little honeymoon to Brighton, but her sister's there too. Well, that makes sense.
Okay. I think the key thing to remember about marriage in Georgian England was that for the vast majority of people, there was no way out of it. So that's why it was so important to make a prudent choice that was informed both by sentiment and by pragmatism.
So one account of a wedding that was sent from a woman to her friend in the 1770s that I found, she described it as the indissolvable knot which nothing but death can sunder. Yeah. which is actually really foreboding.
You know, the real danger of matches that were driven too much by lust, like with Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, is that they fizzled out and then you were stuck for the rest of your life tolerating someone with whom you were just fundamentally incompatible. Marriage also completely changed the balance of power between men and women.
So during courtship, women were thought to have the upper hand as they sat in judgment of suitors who tried to woo them with letters and gifts. But once the knot was tied, women were then in a much more subordinate position to the patriarch and the head of the household.
And some complained in their diaries that they were cajoled by degrees to lose their liberty during courtship until they had nothing to do but quietly submit. So actually finding a match that ticked all of those boxes, love, rank, religion, similar disposition, comparable fortune, similar age, someone who could make you happy, the stakes had never been higher.
Thank you very much.
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