Dr. Scott Lyons

And I have to prove that I have value to them And so I'm gonna stay busy. I'm gonna be a perfectionist. I'm gonna go do that other grad school program. I'm gonna keep earning everyone's love and keep dismissing myself and keep abandoning myself in the meantime to try to get them to come to me. Meanwhile, I have continued to leave myself. And that is a significant issue.

So of course, this idea of worthiness, of busyness, if I'm busy, then it means I have value. If I'm doing something, I have value. And if I have value, then I'm worth something to someone else.

So of course, this idea of worthiness, of busyness, if I'm busy, then it means I have value. If I'm doing something, I have value. And if I have value, then I'm worth something to someone else.

So of course, this idea of worthiness, of busyness, if I'm busy, then it means I have value. If I'm doing something, I have value. And if I have value, then I'm worth something to someone else.

I'm going to just pause with that question. What is the first thing we do in healing this addiction to stress, this

I'm going to just pause with that question. What is the first thing we do in healing this addiction to stress, this

I'm going to just pause with that question. What is the first thing we do in healing this addiction to stress, this

Do you have all these thoughts come up? Do you have this impulse to sort of bulldoze the opportunity to kind of reflect? And that's where I would start actually, is in what happens in the pause, what happens in what we might call boredom, what happens when there isn't a stimulus to keep us going or some type of something that we're seeking or attaching to that relieves the pain for us.

Do you have all these thoughts come up? Do you have this impulse to sort of bulldoze the opportunity to kind of reflect? And that's where I would start actually, is in what happens in the pause, what happens in what we might call boredom, what happens when there isn't a stimulus to keep us going or some type of something that we're seeking or attaching to that relieves the pain for us.

Do you have all these thoughts come up? Do you have this impulse to sort of bulldoze the opportunity to kind of reflect? And that's where I would start actually, is in what happens in the pause, what happens in what we might call boredom, what happens when there isn't a stimulus to keep us going or some type of something that we're seeking or attaching to that relieves the pain for us.

What happens when we stop trying to manifest situations and relationships and environments and that take away, that create that endorphic pain-free response and have to come back to ourselves? So that first step is self-awareness. That first step is going, oof, this is uncomfortable. You know, when I was navigating my addiction to drama, which is, I'll be honest, it's an ongoing process.

What happens when we stop trying to manifest situations and relationships and environments and that take away, that create that endorphic pain-free response and have to come back to ourselves? So that first step is self-awareness. That first step is going, oof, this is uncomfortable. You know, when I was navigating my addiction to drama, which is, I'll be honest, it's an ongoing process.

What happens when we stop trying to manifest situations and relationships and environments and that take away, that create that endorphic pain-free response and have to come back to ourselves? So that first step is self-awareness. That first step is going, oof, this is uncomfortable. You know, when I was navigating my addiction to drama, which is, I'll be honest, it's an ongoing process.

It is an ongoing process. But I remember sitting in a bathtub and having this impulse of like, oh, I got to go pick up my phone and call someone or I got to go read a book or I got to do this or I got to do that. And I simply turned around and I asked myself, what am I running away from? What's under the hood of this impulse to distract? And it was too much to actually deal with by myself.

It is an ongoing process. But I remember sitting in a bathtub and having this impulse of like, oh, I got to go pick up my phone and call someone or I got to go read a book or I got to do this or I got to do that. And I simply turned around and I asked myself, what am I running away from? What's under the hood of this impulse to distract? And it was too much to actually deal with by myself.

It is an ongoing process. But I remember sitting in a bathtub and having this impulse of like, oh, I got to go pick up my phone and call someone or I got to go read a book or I got to do this or I got to do that. And I simply turned around and I asked myself, what am I running away from? What's under the hood of this impulse to distract? And it was too much to actually deal with by myself.

That's what I came to clarity about. It's like, oh, it's so much stored up that never got seen, that never got felt, that never got experienced, that never got held, that never got supported, that that's what I need. I'm going to eventually be able to do that for myself, but maybe not right now. So finding someone who can hold you in the discomfort of,

That's what I came to clarity about. It's like, oh, it's so much stored up that never got seen, that never got felt, that never got experienced, that never got held, that never got supported, that that's what I need. I'm going to eventually be able to do that for myself, but maybe not right now. So finding someone who can hold you in the discomfort of,

That's what I came to clarity about. It's like, oh, it's so much stored up that never got seen, that never got felt, that never got experienced, that never got held, that never got supported, that that's what I need. I'm going to eventually be able to do that for myself, but maybe not right now. So finding someone who can hold you in the discomfort of,

of silence, the discomfort of not being in an activated stressful state or the anxiety or the trauma or the busyness and just say, I'm here with you. This is scary. This is scary because the moment we start to settle in our nervous system, there's an alarm that goes off that says it's not safe. A lot of these skill sets you will learn with someone else.