Dr. Stuart Ablon

So when people are talking about emotion regulation, they're talking about your ability to manage or control your emotions.

Okay. And self, self-control. What are they talking about there? They're talking about things like perhaps the most important human skill we have, which is impulse control. OK, all day, all of us basically keep our impulses in check. And we say to ourselves, like, don't say that. That's a bad idea. Don't do that. You know, we sort of check ourselves.

Okay. And self, self-control. What are they talking about there? They're talking about things like perhaps the most important human skill we have, which is impulse control. OK, all day, all of us basically keep our impulses in check. And we say to ourselves, like, don't say that. That's a bad idea. Don't do that. You know, we sort of check ourselves.

Okay. And self, self-control. What are they talking about there? They're talking about things like perhaps the most important human skill we have, which is impulse control. OK, all day, all of us basically keep our impulses in check. And we say to ourselves, like, don't say that. That's a bad idea. Don't do that. You know, we sort of check ourselves.

I always tell people, if you want to know how important impulse control is, spend a day. We should not do this today on the podcast, but spend a day where you imagine what it would be like if you did or said the first thing that came to your mind all throughout the course of the day. And I'll see you in jail.

I always tell people, if you want to know how important impulse control is, spend a day. We should not do this today on the podcast, but spend a day where you imagine what it would be like if you did or said the first thing that came to your mind all throughout the course of the day. And I'll see you in jail.

I always tell people, if you want to know how important impulse control is, spend a day. We should not do this today on the podcast, but spend a day where you imagine what it would be like if you did or said the first thing that came to your mind all throughout the course of the day. And I'll see you in jail.

You'll have, I was going to say, you'll have a blast. Yeah. But yes, it would be ugly. Yes. Because most of the time we're checking our impulses. Now, again, who's not very good at checking impulses? Two-year-olds, four-year-olds. But guess what? Teenagers. Some teenagers, but also adults. True. Okay. And, you know, if I could just point out really quickly, again, a sad irony here.

You'll have, I was going to say, you'll have a blast. Yeah. But yes, it would be ugly. Yes. Because most of the time we're checking our impulses. Now, again, who's not very good at checking impulses? Two-year-olds, four-year-olds. But guess what? Teenagers. Some teenagers, but also adults. True. Okay. And, you know, if I could just point out really quickly, again, a sad irony here.

You'll have, I was going to say, you'll have a blast. Yeah. But yes, it would be ugly. Yes. Because most of the time we're checking our impulses. Now, again, who's not very good at checking impulses? Two-year-olds, four-year-olds. But guess what? Teenagers. Some teenagers, but also adults. True. Okay. And, you know, if I could just point out really quickly, again, a sad irony here.

People who are very impulsive do stuff without thinking about the consequences of their actions. That's the definition of impulse control. Think about the likely consequences of what you do before you do it. So if you have poor impulse control, you do stuff without thinking first. Then you get hit with consequences, typically.

People who are very impulsive do stuff without thinking about the consequences of their actions. That's the definition of impulse control. Think about the likely consequences of what you do before you do it. So if you have poor impulse control, you do stuff without thinking first. Then you get hit with consequences, typically.

People who are very impulsive do stuff without thinking about the consequences of their actions. That's the definition of impulse control. Think about the likely consequences of what you do before you do it. So if you have poor impulse control, you do stuff without thinking first. Then you get hit with consequences, typically.

The reason this is sadly ironic is guess what consequences require to be effective in the first place? Impulse control. You got it. Because you've got to be able to stop in the moment and say, okay, if I do this, what will happen? Oh, gosh, if I do that, there's probably going to be this consequence or this bad outcome. I probably shouldn't do that. Let me reel it back in.

The reason this is sadly ironic is guess what consequences require to be effective in the first place? Impulse control. You got it. Because you've got to be able to stop in the moment and say, okay, if I do this, what will happen? Oh, gosh, if I do that, there's probably going to be this consequence or this bad outcome. I probably shouldn't do that. Let me reel it back in.

The reason this is sadly ironic is guess what consequences require to be effective in the first place? Impulse control. You got it. Because you've got to be able to stop in the moment and say, okay, if I do this, what will happen? Oh, gosh, if I do that, there's probably going to be this consequence or this bad outcome. I probably shouldn't do that. Let me reel it back in.

So in other words, consequences only work if somebody has good impulse control.

So in other words, consequences only work if somebody has good impulse control.

So in other words, consequences only work if somebody has good impulse control.

You got it. So consequences in essence don't work for the people to whom they are most applied is basically what we're saying.