Dr. Stuart Ablon

So my grandfather was really, really close to, grew up in Tupelo, Mississippi at the beginning of the 20th century. And what he saw in his life is amazing, but he had all these like great grandfatherly sayings, these like pearls of wisdom he would impart. And one thing he would say to me all the time is he would say, you know what, Stuart, if you give a dog a name, eventually they'll answer to it.

So my grandfather was really, really close to, grew up in Tupelo, Mississippi at the beginning of the 20th century. And what he saw in his life is amazing, but he had all these like great grandfatherly sayings, these like pearls of wisdom he would impart. And one thing he would say to me all the time is he would say, you know what, Stuart, if you give a dog a name, eventually they'll answer to it.

So my grandfather was really, really close to, grew up in Tupelo, Mississippi at the beginning of the 20th century. And what he saw in his life is amazing, but he had all these like great grandfatherly sayings, these like pearls of wisdom he would impart. And one thing he would say to me all the time is he would say, you know what, Stuart, if you give a dog a name, eventually they'll answer to it.

If you give a dog a name, Eventually they'll answer to it. And what I realized with the kids we're talking about today is that if you treat a kid like they're lazy, unmotivated, don't care, aren't trying hard enough, we shouldn't be surprised when over time, guess what?

If you give a dog a name, Eventually they'll answer to it. And what I realized with the kids we're talking about today is that if you treat a kid like they're lazy, unmotivated, don't care, aren't trying hard enough, we shouldn't be surprised when over time, guess what?

If you give a dog a name, Eventually they'll answer to it. And what I realized with the kids we're talking about today is that if you treat a kid like they're lazy, unmotivated, don't care, aren't trying hard enough, we shouldn't be surprised when over time, guess what?

They start to look like and talk like and act like kids are lazy, unmotivated, don't care, aren't trying hard enough because if you give a dog a name, eventually they'll answer to it. And I want to be clear, us parents, you know, we would never set out to make our kids feel that way. Of course, teachers never, of course, try to make people feel that way.

They start to look like and talk like and act like kids are lazy, unmotivated, don't care, aren't trying hard enough because if you give a dog a name, eventually they'll answer to it. And I want to be clear, us parents, you know, we would never set out to make our kids feel that way. Of course, teachers never, of course, try to make people feel that way.

They start to look like and talk like and act like kids are lazy, unmotivated, don't care, aren't trying hard enough because if you give a dog a name, eventually they'll answer to it. And I want to be clear, us parents, you know, we would never set out to make our kids feel that way. Of course, teachers never, of course, try to make people feel that way.

But with every reward and consequence, again, comes the not so subtle message. Hey, if you tried harder, this would go better. It's unavoidable.

But with every reward and consequence, again, comes the not so subtle message. Hey, if you tried harder, this would go better. It's unavoidable.

But with every reward and consequence, again, comes the not so subtle message. Hey, if you tried harder, this would go better. It's unavoidable.

Yeah. Well, I mean, typically when people say to me, you know, nobody ever did this for me and I turned out okay, they're saying that with an edge because there's parts of them that maybe didn't turn out okay. And if you can get to that part with them, which is what do they wish was different about their life and their skills and how they operate, it opens up a lot of doors there.

Yeah. Well, I mean, typically when people say to me, you know, nobody ever did this for me and I turned out okay, they're saying that with an edge because there's parts of them that maybe didn't turn out okay. And if you can get to that part with them, which is what do they wish was different about their life and their skills and how they operate, it opens up a lot of doors there.

Yeah. Well, I mean, typically when people say to me, you know, nobody ever did this for me and I turned out okay, they're saying that with an edge because there's parts of them that maybe didn't turn out okay. And if you can get to that part with them, which is what do they wish was different about their life and their skills and how they operate, it opens up a lot of doors there.

My feeling about that is each generation – there's actually been research on this – each generation feels like the generation that comes after it has it easier, isn't learning the right skills, is a more spoiled generation than the previous one. If you go back hundreds of years, this happens. And look, the world changes, and we need to adapt with it.

My feeling about that is each generation – there's actually been research on this – each generation feels like the generation that comes after it has it easier, isn't learning the right skills, is a more spoiled generation than the previous one. If you go back hundreds of years, this happens. And look, the world changes, and we need to adapt with it.

My feeling about that is each generation – there's actually been research on this – each generation feels like the generation that comes after it has it easier, isn't learning the right skills, is a more spoiled generation than the previous one. If you go back hundreds of years, this happens. And look, the world changes, and we need to adapt with it.

I mean, look, when people say we wouldn't do this that way when I grew up, we used to think that corporal punishment, that actually injuring kids, hurting, traumatizing kids, that that was a good form of discipline, right? We learn things, okay? We learn that actually that causes harm. It doesn't help. And we need to change with the times. And you mentioned trauma.

I mean, look, when people say we wouldn't do this that way when I grew up, we used to think that corporal punishment, that actually injuring kids, hurting, traumatizing kids, that that was a good form of discipline, right? We learn things, okay? We learn that actually that causes harm. It doesn't help. And we need to change with the times. And you mentioned trauma.