Dr. Stuart Ablon

And when people are regulated, they're much more able to express what's going on for them.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

You got it. Now, I think though, that is really hard to put into practice. And so I actually spent, this is going to sound ridiculous.

You got it. Now, I think though, that is really hard to put into practice. And so I actually spent, this is going to sound ridiculous.

You got it. Now, I think though, that is really hard to put into practice. And so I actually spent, this is going to sound ridiculous.

I spent like five years.

I spent like five years.

I spent like five years.

intensively studying the first ingredient of our problem solving process.

intensively studying the first ingredient of our problem solving process.

intensively studying the first ingredient of our problem solving process.

You got it.

You got it.

You got it.

You got it. And so I spent these years with all these recordings of people doing this from different places and people we work with. And I basically poured over them my own work and basically said, when this first ingredient, empathy, goes well, what are people doing? And when it goes off the rails, what are people doing? And I'm pleased to say, like, the result, it's not rocket science.

You got it. And so I spent these years with all these recordings of people doing this from different places and people we work with. And I basically poured over them my own work and basically said, when this first ingredient, empathy, goes well, what are people doing? And when it goes off the rails, what are people doing? And I'm pleased to say, like, the result, it's not rocket science.

You got it. And so I spent these years with all these recordings of people doing this from different places and people we work with. And I basically poured over them my own work and basically said, when this first ingredient, empathy, goes well, what are people doing? And when it goes off the rails, what are people doing? And I'm pleased to say, like, the result, it's not rocket science.

When we do a good job of empathizing with another human... We're doing four things and four things only. Okay. And anytime we do anything other than those four, it tends to go off the rails. So here are the four. I promise they're not rocket science, okay? Two of them are information-gathering tools. Asking questions, clarifying questions, like any good detective would do. Yeah.