Dr. Stuart Ablon

And I want to point out something because you said something really important a moment ago. You know, there's a difference between just being aggravated by somebody's behavior. Yes. And being aggravated, but also really concerned and hopeless and worried. Yes. And as a parent, there is no worse feeling.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

This is a girl I worked with in the Boston public schools who was having a really hard time both at home and at school managing her behavior. And she both was a sort of what I call an exploder and an imploder.

This is a girl I worked with in the Boston public schools who was having a really hard time both at home and at school managing her behavior. And she both was a sort of what I call an exploder and an imploder.

This is a girl I worked with in the Boston public schools who was having a really hard time both at home and at school managing her behavior. And she both was a sort of what I call an exploder and an imploder.

So exploder means like she would, scream. She turned over her desk. She would throw things. She'd hit other people. An imploder means she would quietly put her head down and cry. She would sneak out of the room and ask to go to the bathroom and not come back. She would shut down.

So exploder means like she would, scream. She turned over her desk. She would throw things. She'd hit other people. An imploder means she would quietly put her head down and cry. She would sneak out of the room and ask to go to the bathroom and not come back. She would shut down.

So exploder means like she would, scream. She turned over her desk. She would throw things. She'd hit other people. An imploder means she would quietly put her head down and cry. She would sneak out of the room and ask to go to the bathroom and not come back. She would shut down.

And to me, by the way, all these are, these are different flavors of saying, I'm having a hard time handling something with the skills I have. Yeah. Why would a kid choose to do any of those things if they could handle the situation better? You know, kids do well if they can. Why does this get you so emotional? Because just kids being misunderstood. Yeah. and mistreated.

And to me, by the way, all these are, these are different flavors of saying, I'm having a hard time handling something with the skills I have. Yeah. Why would a kid choose to do any of those things if they could handle the situation better? You know, kids do well if they can. Why does this get you so emotional? Because just kids being misunderstood. Yeah. and mistreated.

And to me, by the way, all these are, these are different flavors of saying, I'm having a hard time handling something with the skills I have. Yeah. Why would a kid choose to do any of those things if they could handle the situation better? You know, kids do well if they can. Why does this get you so emotional? Because just kids being misunderstood. Yeah. and mistreated.

And it doesn't have to be that way. We know better. You know, we know better. We have to do better. We have to do better. And I don't blame us because like, this is how it works in history. We learn. Conventional wisdom gets overturned and we learn better. And it takes a while until we change our practices.

And it doesn't have to be that way. We know better. You know, we know better. We have to do better. We have to do better. And I don't blame us because like, this is how it works in history. We learn. Conventional wisdom gets overturned and we learn better. And it takes a while until we change our practices.

And it doesn't have to be that way. We know better. You know, we know better. We have to do better. We have to do better. And I don't blame us because like, this is how it works in history. We learn. Conventional wisdom gets overturned and we learn better. And it takes a while until we change our practices.

And we're in that period now, which is why I'm thankful for you helping spread the word here because we can shift our thinking and do better here. We don't have to lose kids. And I just looked at this girl's letter and I've seen this a million times and it still makes me emotional every time because this girl was struggling so much.

And we're in that period now, which is why I'm thankful for you helping spread the word here because we can shift our thinking and do better here. We don't have to lose kids. And I just looked at this girl's letter and I've seen this a million times and it still makes me emotional every time because this girl was struggling so much.

And we're in that period now, which is why I'm thankful for you helping spread the word here because we can shift our thinking and do better here. We don't have to lose kids. And I just looked at this girl's letter and I've seen this a million times and it still makes me emotional every time because this girl was struggling so much.

And they used a sort of classic sticker chart to try to motivate her to behave better. Right. You know, like get stuff if you behave well. Yeah. And it wasn't working great. And I asked her, you know, when I was meeting with her, I asked her what's happening with it. She's not great at letting people know what's bothering her and things. Yeah. But she would write for me. Yes.