Dr. Stuart Ablon

And I just want to be clear that it's not like I don't reach moments where I that that faith gets shaken because I get so upset, bothered, pissed off, etc. And both in my own life personally, but also my clinical life. And, you know, I just try to hold tight to that philosophy.

And I just want to be clear that it's not like I don't reach moments where I that that faith gets shaken because I get so upset, bothered, pissed off, etc. And both in my own life personally, but also my clinical life. And, you know, I just try to hold tight to that philosophy.

And I just want to be clear that it's not like I don't reach moments where I that that faith gets shaken because I get so upset, bothered, pissed off, etc. And both in my own life personally, but also my clinical life. And, you know, I just try to hold tight to that philosophy.

And when you were saying that, you know, a memory came up years ago in my practice of working with an adolescent who was really, really struggling. Okay. And his behavior was really obnoxious, too. Like what? Well, he just would be really disrespectful to his parents, to most adults, authority figures, and it seemed like he just didn't care. So it was so easy.

And when you were saying that, you know, a memory came up years ago in my practice of working with an adolescent who was really, really struggling. Okay. And his behavior was really obnoxious, too. Like what? Well, he just would be really disrespectful to his parents, to most adults, authority figures, and it seemed like he just didn't care. So it was so easy.

And when you were saying that, you know, a memory came up years ago in my practice of working with an adolescent who was really, really struggling. Okay. And his behavior was really obnoxious, too. Like what? Well, he just would be really disrespectful to his parents, to most adults, authority figures, and it seemed like he just didn't care. So it was so easy.

It was so frustrating because you sort of couldn't engage him much, and it seemed like he didn't care. And... I remember the day where his mom, who never lost hope, and she brought in, you know, he was a 15-year-old at the time, and he was a pretty rough kid. She brought in a picture of him asleep as a two-year-old. on the back seat of the car. And he was just the cutest little thing.

It was so frustrating because you sort of couldn't engage him much, and it seemed like he didn't care. And... I remember the day where his mom, who never lost hope, and she brought in, you know, he was a 15-year-old at the time, and he was a pretty rough kid. She brought in a picture of him asleep as a two-year-old. on the back seat of the car. And he was just the cutest little thing.

It was so frustrating because you sort of couldn't engage him much, and it seemed like he didn't care. And... I remember the day where his mom, who never lost hope, and she brought in, you know, he was a 15-year-old at the time, and he was a pretty rough kid. She brought in a picture of him asleep as a two-year-old. on the back seat of the car. And he was just the cutest little thing.

And it's giving me goosebumps right now just talking about it. And I saw this and I said to myself, like, that kid's in there somewhere. Like this hardened, tough kid who's really hard to access. There's this little adorable guy and things have gone wrong in the interim. But I got to believe that that kid who, you Everybody looked at this lovely, cute kid. He's in there. He wants to do well.

And it's giving me goosebumps right now just talking about it. And I saw this and I said to myself, like, that kid's in there somewhere. Like this hardened, tough kid who's really hard to access. There's this little adorable guy and things have gone wrong in the interim. But I got to believe that that kid who, you Everybody looked at this lovely, cute kid. He's in there. He wants to do well.

And it's giving me goosebumps right now just talking about it. And I saw this and I said to myself, like, that kid's in there somewhere. Like this hardened, tough kid who's really hard to access. There's this little adorable guy and things have gone wrong in the interim. But I got to believe that that kid who, you Everybody looked at this lovely, cute kid. He's in there. He wants to do well.

And how do we access that? And actually, sometimes I give parents that advice with little kids. I said, if you're losing faith, just watch them sleep for a little bit. Because they're really cute then and they can't be obnoxious when they're sleeping or difficult. And it'll restore a little bit of your faith and remind yourself kids do well if they can and then come back at it the next day.

And how do we access that? And actually, sometimes I give parents that advice with little kids. I said, if you're losing faith, just watch them sleep for a little bit. Because they're really cute then and they can't be obnoxious when they're sleeping or difficult. And it'll restore a little bit of your faith and remind yourself kids do well if they can and then come back at it the next day.

And how do we access that? And actually, sometimes I give parents that advice with little kids. I said, if you're losing faith, just watch them sleep for a little bit. Because they're really cute then and they can't be obnoxious when they're sleeping or difficult. And it'll restore a little bit of your faith and remind yourself kids do well if they can and then come back at it the next day.

Although we're going to get into specifics about exactly what to do. I want to be clear. This is not just about mindset. It's about shifting your mindset and then shifting what you do to match that new mindset.

Although we're going to get into specifics about exactly what to do. I want to be clear. This is not just about mindset. It's about shifting your mindset and then shifting what you do to match that new mindset.

Although we're going to get into specifics about exactly what to do. I want to be clear. This is not just about mindset. It's about shifting your mindset and then shifting what you do to match that new mindset.

Absolutely. So, you know, I gave you some sort of big categories that they fall in, problem-solving, flexibility, frustration tolerance. But I also told you there's 50 years of research that shows exactly where those skills are. And in essence, what we found is they're in five different areas.

Absolutely. So, you know, I gave you some sort of big categories that they fall in, problem-solving, flexibility, frustration tolerance. But I also told you there's 50 years of research that shows exactly where those skills are. And in essence, what we found is they're in five different areas.