Dr. Stuart Ablon

Absolutely. So, you know, I gave you some sort of big categories that they fall in, problem-solving, flexibility, frustration tolerance. But I also told you there's 50 years of research that shows exactly where those skills are. And in essence, what we found is they're in five different areas.

And if we want to use fancy language just for a moment, they're what we call neurocognitive skills, which is a fancy way of saying thinking skills in essence. They're largely what happens in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. So there's five areas. One, language and communication skills.

And if we want to use fancy language just for a moment, they're what we call neurocognitive skills, which is a fancy way of saying thinking skills in essence. They're largely what happens in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. So there's five areas. One, language and communication skills.

And if we want to use fancy language just for a moment, they're what we call neurocognitive skills, which is a fancy way of saying thinking skills in essence. They're largely what happens in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. So there's five areas. One, language and communication skills.

Now, really easy to think about with a kid because, you know, like most two-year-olds are very poorly behaved, right? We call it the terrible twos. Not because they're evil little beings, but because they lack a lot of skills, including they're not great at knowing what's bothering them, using words to tell somebody what's bothering them, engaging in a back and forth to solve a problem.

Now, really easy to think about with a kid because, you know, like most two-year-olds are very poorly behaved, right? We call it the terrible twos. Not because they're evil little beings, but because they lack a lot of skills, including they're not great at knowing what's bothering them, using words to tell somebody what's bothering them, engaging in a back and forth to solve a problem.

Now, really easy to think about with a kid because, you know, like most two-year-olds are very poorly behaved, right? We call it the terrible twos. Not because they're evil little beings, but because they lack a lot of skills, including they're not great at knowing what's bothering them, using words to tell somebody what's bothering them, engaging in a back and forth to solve a problem.

Those are language and communication skills. Now, most four-year-olds are better than that, than two-year-olds at that. Most eight-year-olds better than five-year-olds. Most 20-year-olds better than 10-year-olds at that. But notice my language. Most. So you may be working with a 15-year-old who's got six-year-old language skills.

Those are language and communication skills. Now, most four-year-olds are better than that, than two-year-olds at that. Most eight-year-olds better than five-year-olds. Most 20-year-olds better than 10-year-olds at that. But notice my language. Most. So you may be working with a 15-year-old who's got six-year-old language skills.

Those are language and communication skills. Now, most four-year-olds are better than that, than two-year-olds at that. Most eight-year-olds better than five-year-olds. Most 20-year-olds better than 10-year-olds at that. But notice my language. Most. So you may be working with a 15-year-old who's got six-year-old language skills.

And let's be clear, this does not just apply to kids because you may be in marriage with a 45-year-old who really struggles to identify what's bothering them, communicate it to others, engage in the back and forth to problem solve. So that's one category, language and communication skills.

And let's be clear, this does not just apply to kids because you may be in marriage with a 45-year-old who really struggles to identify what's bothering them, communicate it to others, engage in the back and forth to problem solve. So that's one category, language and communication skills.

And let's be clear, this does not just apply to kids because you may be in marriage with a 45-year-old who really struggles to identify what's bothering them, communicate it to others, engage in the back and forth to problem solve. So that's one category, language and communication skills.

Well, that's what I would say. What do two-year-olds do when they're upset? They don't calmly express what's going on, right? They bite, they scream, they flop, they run, they hit, you know, they do all those things. And that's what they've sort of gotten their bag of tricks in their toolbox, right? So if they don't develop other skills, that's what they're going to resort to.

Well, that's what I would say. What do two-year-olds do when they're upset? They don't calmly express what's going on, right? They bite, they scream, they flop, they run, they hit, you know, they do all those things. And that's what they've sort of gotten their bag of tricks in their toolbox, right? So if they don't develop other skills, that's what they're going to resort to.

Well, that's what I would say. What do two-year-olds do when they're upset? They don't calmly express what's going on, right? They bite, they scream, they flop, they run, they hit, you know, they do all those things. And that's what they've sort of gotten their bag of tricks in their toolbox, right? So if they don't develop other skills, that's what they're going to resort to.

You know, there's a good analogy, a precedent that I like to remind myself of because I think we've made a ton of progress there. And I know this will resonate for you. Yeah. When you and I were in school, we didn't know much about learning disabilities. True. Right? So if you had dyslexia when you were our age growing up and you were struggling to read,

You know, there's a good analogy, a precedent that I like to remind myself of because I think we've made a ton of progress there. And I know this will resonate for you. Yeah. When you and I were in school, we didn't know much about learning disabilities. True. Right? So if you had dyslexia when you were our age growing up and you were struggling to read,

You know, there's a good analogy, a precedent that I like to remind myself of because I think we've made a ton of progress there. And I know this will resonate for you. Yeah. When you and I were in school, we didn't know much about learning disabilities. True. Right? So if you had dyslexia when you were our age growing up and you were struggling to read,

People didn't say, I wonder what she's having a hard time with. They thought that you were either lazy or dumb. And if they thought you were lazy, what would they do? They would try to motivate you to work harder to read, which, you know, the sad reality, the ironic reality is who's working harder than anybody else in the classroom to learn how to read? The kid to whom it's not coming naturally.