Dr. Zelana Montminy

And our shared attention is how we co-regulate.

It's how our nervous system learns.

It's really important to be able to look in someone's eyes and not have to look away or track their tone or feel like that sort of human chemistry, whether it's like platonic or romantic.

I think that, you know, people often think that

disconnection comes from distance or not being together, but it actually comes from attention that's divided.

And so I think that we're living in a world that really has glorified these surface connections.

Like we have followers, we have texts, we have all these things that we exchange with people.

And it's on the surface level makes us feel like we're content that we have a lot of people in our life, but really we're not, there's no depth.

So we're not with individuals.

We're full of people, but we're not really seeing who we fully are.

And we need that.

I think that's one of the biggest issues in today's dating world.

And I just think that attention is a really rare form of love.

And you asked, like, how do we do that?

I mean, it's.

it's really simple, but we've walked away from it.

Like we have to stick with the discomfort.

We have to move past those moments where it's like, Oh, she's been quiet for a long time, but I'm going to stay.

I'm going to stay.

I'm going to stick with this.