Ed Helms

It is a legal thriller.

It is a legal thriller.

John, I'm outside the hospital where it has been reported that, that's right, John, Jacko had an attack-o in his back-o.

John, I'm outside the hospital where it has been reported that, that's right, John, Jacko had an attack-o in his back-o.

Yes, yes. I understand he's filled his hospital room with his personal bric-a-braco. Took it too far. Ed, it was very clever. How was Mr. Jackson hurt? There was a collision, John, specifically the collision between the innocent, eternal 10-year-old boy Jackson thought he was and the disturbing 46-year-old semi-Caucasian adult male he just found out he actually is.

Yes, yes. I understand he's filled his hospital room with his personal bric-a-braco. Took it too far. Ed, it was very clever. How was Mr. Jackson hurt? There was a collision, John, specifically the collision between the innocent, eternal 10-year-old boy Jackson thought he was and the disturbing 46-year-old semi-Caucasian adult male he just found out he actually is.

That's one of those where you're reading the court transcripts, really gonna get you right there.

That's one of those where you're reading the court transcripts, really gonna get you right there.

No, John. Jackson's back pain is real. It's his life that's been imaginary. Until now, Mr. Jackson had believed himself to be Captain EO, the planetary defender of childhood wonder, piggyback rides, and wishing trees. Imagine the trauma to his system upon learning he has no actual military rank whatsoever.

No, John. Jackson's back pain is real. It's his life that's been imaginary. Until now, Mr. Jackson had believed himself to be Captain EO, the planetary defender of childhood wonder, piggyback rides, and wishing trees. Imagine the trauma to his system upon learning he has no actual military rank whatsoever.

And that Neverland is not the domain of the Lost Boys, but is in fact under the jurisdiction of the Santa Barbara District Attorney's Office.

And that Neverland is not the domain of the Lost Boys, but is in fact under the jurisdiction of the Santa Barbara District Attorney's Office.

Sadness, John, but also anger. I'm sure somewhere Jackson is thinking, hey, OJ killed two people and went free. Now they're going to put me away just for a couple of teenage reach-arounds? Where's the justice, John?

Sadness, John, but also anger. I'm sure somewhere Jackson is thinking, hey, OJ killed two people and went free. Now they're going to put me away just for a couple of teenage reach-arounds? Where's the justice, John?

Well, ultimately, John, if Jacko wants to avoid further flacko from the media packo, he's simply going to have to stop having young boys in the sacko. And also make sure there's no touching of his balls. John?

Well, ultimately, John, if Jacko wants to avoid further flacko from the media packo, he's simply going to have to stop having young boys in the sacko. And also make sure there's no touching of his balls. John?

I, of course, was drawn to the LSD story.

I, of course, was drawn to the LSD story.

I, of course, was drawn to the LSD story.

Wow.