On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Alexis Ohanian: Why Discipline Creates Freedom & How to Incorporate Routines in Your Schedule in Order to Succeed
Mon, 16 Dec 2024
How do you stay disciplined when life gets busy? What’s a routine that keeps you on track? Today, Jay welcomes Alexis Ohanian, tech founder, venture capitalist, and advocate for social change. Known as the co-founder of Reddit and founder of venture firm 776, Alexis shares the profound lessons he's learned from building communities, parenting, and navigating personal and professional challenges. Alexis shares insights into the evolution of online identities and the surprising dedication of individuals who moderate and foster online spaces; his role as a father, offering a candid glimpse into the delicate balance between introducing his children to the digital world and preserving their innocence. The conversation also tackles larger societal issues, such as the importance of role models for young men and the transformative potential of positive male friendships. Alexis doesn’t shy away from discussing the darker sides of technology, including the need for ethical boundaries and his personal experiences advocating for change within Reddit. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Foster a Sense of Community Online How to Introduce Kids to the Internet Safely How to Navigate Cultural Differences in Relationships How to Encourage Grit and Perseverance in Children How to Lead a Team with Empathy and Vision How to Prioritize Family While Building a Career In today’s fast-paced and ever-evolving world, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Yet, the foundation of a fulfilling life lies in embracing challenges, building strong relationships, and staying true to our values. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:40 The Human Mind’s Deep Need for Community 02:59 The Challenges of Moderating Online Communities 05:26 Raising Kids to Navigate the Internet Safely 10:13 Why AI Can’t Replace Human Empathy 17:28 The Power of Optimism in Uncertain Times 21:42 Drawing Ethical Lines in Content Moderation 29:52 Saying No to Risky and Irresponsible Startups 33:05 The Key Milestones Behind Reddit’s Success 35:05 A Family’s Journey of Resilience and Survival 41:46 Coping with Family Tragedy While Moving Forward 52:27 The Joy of Seeing Hard Work Pay Off 01:00:15 Lessons Learned Through Loss and Reflection 01:12:45 Building Greatness with a Strong Partnership 01:19:19 Choosing the Right Partner for Life and Growth 01:27:23 Teaching Kids to Embrace Failure and Grow 01:35:27 Alexis on Final Five Episode Resources: Alexis Ohanian | Facebook Alexis Ohanian | TikTok Alexis Ohanian | LinkedIn Alexis Ohanian | Instagram Alexis Ohanian | YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is Alexis Ohanian's perspective on community?
Chapter 2: How can parents introduce children to the internet safely?
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The more comfortable you can be in the discomfort of constant change, the better.
His co-founder of Reddit. Alexis Ohanian has stepped in the room.
When we build any kind of social media platform, we are ultimately deciding what belongs and what doesn't. If you can be equipped and you can exercise those muscles around problem solving and learning, you will be at the forefront for however this technology changes things.
What do you uniquely understand about the human mind?
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Chapter 3: What challenges did Alexis face during the early days of Reddit?
and I've talked to other folks in interracial relationships, it is definitely, there's a dynamic there that creates new challenges, or even I think any cross-cultural relationship creates those challenges, I bet. I don't know if I was, I guess I'm a weird mid-Atlantic guy, but the difference between me and even a white person from Appalachia is going to have those cultural challenges, right?
But across those lines, that's where you get again, or with a relationship built on love, you get this opportunity to say, okay, like, let me try to learn and try to be a little better that I think helps. But like I said, it's probably the worst part is...
the dynamic there's a reason we live in the middle of nowhere florida like i love being here in la but like i think we live in such a weird culture that you know the celebritization of things is just it's different and and one of the things that we always wanted for our girls is for them to have i mean they're not going to have a normal life but to not be living in it and and to have the ability to do that from
you know, sort of the middle of nowhere Florida has been probably the biggest secret weapon.
What did you, what I love though is the awareness you have of the upbringing you had and how that's impacted you now with you wanting the opposite and how the upbringing she had. Yeah, and I love that awareness because it's such a subtle point, but it's such a powerful one because it sounds like you both accept why you're wired the way you are.
Because I think it could be really tempting to project and hope that, well, you know, Alexis has achieved everything too, so shouldn't we both just...
let everything go and just be home with the kids or you to be like well you've achieved so much we should just be going for the next mountain like which i think we do a lot with our partners where we reflect what stage of life we're on like i remember when my wife and i first met I was ambitious and driven and she was definitely the homemaker and curator.
And then as I've become more set in my world and have more time, my wife's career is like really taken off and she's really found her purpose and it's amazing. But I just love watching her flourish. So even though I have more free time to be able to spend together now than I did eight years ago, I recognize that watching her grow and watching her thrive is actually the most inspiring thing.
And now that just because I have more time doesn't mean she has to adapt and adjust around that. I love that. Yeah, I find it's a really... But it's such a common thing I see where it's like, I wish you were at the stage of life that I'm at. And that seems to be the hardest, most impossible thing to demand.
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Chapter 5: What lessons has Alexis learned from personal loss?
the tools we will have at our disposal to literally write code are going to be so formidable. Like, I mean, even the improvement the last couple of years are good, but in the next few years, it'll, it's not the profession. The person is not going to go away, but the amount of output you'll get out of a one person is so much greater.
Yeah.
And so my thinking is, all right, there's lots of different areas where AI may not necessarily replace human work, but is going to be an amazing superpower. And so what do I want for my kid or even for anyone's kid who's entering a workforce is probably to –
most importantly build skills that i know are going to be durable call it a decade or two from now so empathy is a skill that i think will be the last bastion of ai like you're seeing you've probably seen the videos now of robotics and the leaps and bounds that's starting to make still early days but
There are skills, there are professions where empathy is so, so, so important and the physicality of being present one human to another where, at least I personally believe, if we ever get to that point with AI and with robotics, we can pretty much call it as a species because at that point, I don't know if you're that self-aware to be that empathetic and that effective in those moments.
My sister is an RN. When her job... can be done just as well, or ideally even better, by a robot as a nurse. When that job can be done, you'll also have to then explain to that robot that they're going to be a nurse for the rest of their lives. And if they are that all powerful, there's no way they're doing that job because the humans who do it are so remarkable.
Like it's not that if, if they, they would, that that's the moment when the robots are like, no, no way, no chance. We're enslaving you now game over. Yeah. Because the humans who are doing that as the last mile of humanity required in terms of like the physical dexterity required, the creativity, the problem solving, the empathy, all of that stuff. So she's got job security for a very long time.
And, and I just believe that, If you can be equipped and you can exercise those muscles around problem solving and learning, you will be at the forefront for however this technology changes things. And that's the advice we're trying with Olympia. Adira's only one, so we're still early days there. Yeah, you've got a long way. But I would say that's where it is.
The more comfortable you can be in the discomfort of constant change, the better. And then look towards the skills. And this is the part that gets me fired up. I actually think we're going to see the pendulum is going to swing back for a lot of human work that we would have considered more artisanal because we'll crave the humanity of it. So I think food. So again, imagine a world where
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Chapter 6: How does Alexis Ohanian define success?
But I do appreciate, I understand why the internet finds that really exciting and interesting. But the bigger story here is the fact that if you have this kind of partnership you're talking about, you're able to let one another flourish at those things at that time when they're ready. And maybe I didn't see it.
Maybe I missed out on some great relationships earlier because it wasn't there at that time. But At the end of the day, one of the best parts, you know, dating Serena while she was winning Grand Slam after Grand Slams, breaking every record, doing all this stuff with Olympia in her belly. I might add, you know, the pinnacle of sports excellence.
And then also seeing her now, like, making cinnamon rolls for the second grade class. Like, both of those things bring me so much joy. And frankly... I love seeing the latter more because it doesn't come with all the baggage of being the public persona. They just have to endure doing that job. And I know she doesn't miss it at all for those same reasons.
Uh, and I think that's, I don't know, that's been why it's just, I don't know, been a, been an easy transition for her. Uh, and, and frankly been a lot of fun to see this, this evolution for me. How did you meet? Six months into the Reddit turnaround, uh, I was burnt out, and my head of comms said I needed to go. She was like, go to Italy. And I was like, what?
And she was like, there was a speaking gig that wanted me there. And I was like, sure. I was like, wait, no, but this is a boondoggle. There's no point. We're not ready to win over marketers. She's like, just do it, please. You need a day or two. Just go. I was like, all right, fine. I go.
I flake out on the conference that first day, and I just find a cafe, and I started doodling, working on some sketches for product stuff.
i meet up with a friend of a friend very random they just walked in and they're like hey can we use the table i'm like sure we'll get some drinks we're out that night until like three in the morning and i get home hungover the next morning i need coffee addicted go downstairs they say sir breakfast is over but if you want coffee you can go sit by the pool i go sit by the pool i take out my laptop and there's a table next to me
There's an Australian guy at the table who tells me to move. He says, there's a rat at the table. I say, I'm not afraid of rats. I'm from Brooklyn. I see rats all the time. He's like, I might. There's a rat. You better leave. And I was like, no, thank you. I'm good. And I was just working. And then the lady next to him turns around. It's Serena. And she's like, oh, you're not afraid of rats.
I'm like, no, I'm not. If you don't bother them, they won't bother you. And she's like, oh, are you here for the tech conference? And I was like, I am. She's like, are you here to see someone speak in particular? I said, no, I'm speaking. She was like, oh. She's like, what's your company? I was like, Reddit. And she lied. She was like, oh yeah, Reddit. She'd never heard of it.
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