On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Kate Cassidy EXCLUSIVE: Sharing Her Last Conversation with Liam Payne and The Real Story Behind Their Relationship
Wed, 16 Apr 2025
Have you ever had a hard goodbye with someone you cared about? What’s one thing you wish you’d said to someone you lost? Today, Jay sits down with Kate Cassidy, partner to Liam Payne — internationally beloved artist and former One Direction member — who tragically passed away in October. Kate opens up about the profound impact of losing her partner, the weight of grief, and how she’s learning to move forward. From their chance meeting in Charleston while she was working as a waitress to the whirlwind of building a life together, Kate reflects on the joy, the challenges, and the deep emotional connection they shared. Kate expresses the emotional weight of being in the public eye, the toll of online criticism, and the realities of loving someone navigating mental health and addiction. She recounts the beauty in their every day routines, the balance they brought to each other’s lives, and the small, intimate moments that built the foundation of their relationship. Kate speaks candidly about the day she received the devastating news of Liam’s passing and the days that followed, marked by shock, numbness, and a grief unlike any other. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Support a Partner Struggling with Mental Health How to Handle Grief After Losing a Loved One How to Create Daily Routines That Support Healing How to Find Strength When You Feel Powerless How to Set Boundaries While Being a Caregiver How to Keep Moving Forward When Life Changes Overnight Kate's vulnerability is a powerful reminder that grief doesn’t follow a straight path — and that even in life’s most painful moments, there is space for love, learning, and hope. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:32 How is Kate Really Doing? 03:59 Kate Reveals Her Childhood Crush on Liam 07:19 The Moment They Met, The Connection Was Instant 09:40 The Beginning of Their Fairytale Romance 11:50 What It Takes to Build Real, Lasting Love 12:56 Staying Grounded Amidst Fame & Public Scrutiny 15:31 What Liam Taught Kate About Blocking Out the Noise 18:54 Liam’s Quiet Struggles With Mental Health 22:19 The Reality of Loving Someone Battling Addiction 30:05 How Kate Received the News That Would Change Her Life Forever 36:09 Kate Shares Her Final Heartfelt Goodbye With Liam 39:43 The Emotional Support That Got Her Through The First Days 44:05 No One Prepares You for This Kind of Loss 45:11 How Kate Learned to Breathe Again Through the Grief 54:44 Rebuilding Life After Loss One Day At a Time 56:39 Kate Reads a Love Letter From Liam 01:02:59 The Power of Collective Grief: How Liam’s Fans Helped Kate Feel Less Alone 01:06:52 Losing Someone Feels Like Losing a Part of Yourself 01:10:25 Why Talking About Your Grief Helps You Heal Episode Resources: Kate Cassidy | Instagram Kate Cassidy | TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: Who is Kate Cassidy and how did she meet Liam Payne?
But before we dive into that, I wanted to focus on who Kate was before Liam, before this, so that we can understand you a bit more and your journey. So talk to me about Kate.
So grew up in New Jersey. I actually am half British. My mom's from England. So I do have a ton of family in England. Where in England? She grew up in a town called Edmonton. I'm not too familiar.
That is so close to where I grew up.
Really?
Yeah. If we're talking about the same Edmonton.
Yeah, I do have some family in England on my mom's side. Grew up in New Jersey. After I graduated high school, I kind of immediately moved out of the house pretty much. I went to a college in South Carolina called Coastal Carolina University. Graduated there after four years. Moved to Charleston, South Carolina.
I think after college, I wasn't too sure what I wanted to do with work or with even my life. I think it was still kind of that... I went to college. I had such a great experience. I met so many great people. I'm so glad I have a degree. And I didn't know, though, what I wanted to do. Some people obviously go to college for law school, medical school. They kind of know what path they're taking.
I kind of went to college just saying, OK, I know at some point it's going to click. I know what I want to do. But I still didn't really understand what I wanted to do in life. So moved to Charleston with a bunch of my friends. My friends were all kind of in the same boat too. We were all just kind of like, all right, let's just take one day at a time. We all graduated college.
We're all kind of almost in a way like lost. We don't know what to do. College is over. Now what? Now it's like the real life, the real big girl life. And moved to Charleston altogether. And... Took some time there just to focus on myself. And I ended up a couple months later getting this waitressing job at this restaurant, lounge, bar place.
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Chapter 2: What was the beginning of Kate and Liam's relationship like?
And he just had this sort of spark to him. And he was just so kind, just so humble, so different than anybody I've ever met. And just immediately, it was just like, just a spark that we were just a conversation just flowed so easily. And it's just, but I didn't think of course that, oh, conversation's going great. I'm going to have a future with this man.
I didn't think anything about, I just thought this guy's really great. I, this is so cool to meet him. I had his posters on my wall when I was 10 years old. I, you know, drew photos of him when I was 10 years old. So I didn't know it was going to go anywhere. And then obviously it did.
Kate, thank you so much for sharing that. And I want to hear a bit about how did that evolve into this beautiful relationship? I've seen videos of both of you dancing together and attending events together and whatever else it may be. Talk to me about those early months of dating and how were you managing to spend time together with his busy schedule where you were living? How did that all work?
He did end up extending his flight a couple of days in Charleston. I think he was supposed to leave the following day and he ended up extending it for three nights. So he was there for a couple of days. We spent day and night together immediately, like immediately just clicked so well. We would go to the beach, go to... dinners, lunches. We went bowling. We would do all these Charleston tours.
We just had this click and it was just so normal, you know? And it was nice. I felt like I was his tour guide. He's never been to Charleston before. I was able to show him around. He's been all over the world to all these different places. And it was like, I was able to show him the one place he hasn't been to. So it kind of gave me that upper hand.
I was like, oh, I feel kind of, this is cool that I'm able to show him these, this new place. And he loved it. He loved Charleston. I ended up going flying out to England to London about like a week later. And once again, just inseparable.
I mean, hit it off where it's like we were obviously I was staying with him, but we just the minute we'd wake up, we would just plan all these things throughout the day to do all these things. And it just felt right is how I would describe it. It was just something that it was so fun. And I could tell like I brought out this light in him where he was just so like He was just happy.
And I think that I saw that in him. And we both brought out this light in each other. I was happy. He showed me this type of fairytale life. And I showed him a sense of normality, which I think is, you know, balance is a key in a lot of relationships. And I think that it was just so...
cool to experience so many things I never would have thought I would experience or places I never thought I'd be able to go to in the world that he took me after being with him for two months not even and it's just it was crazy it was insane and I was so grateful and blessed to be able to you know experience that with somebody that I loved and love.
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Chapter 3: How did Kate and Liam handle fame and public scrutiny?
I really appreciate you being so honest about it because I think when you're new to it, when you don't have an experience of it, that is how we process it. How did you start to notice it? When was it that you started to notice that this wasn't something that just goes away or that he can stop? And how did you adapt and change and show up for him in those times?
I think it was, I finally realized, you know, that this is something he did not choose, you know, something that he does not want to choose. When he would, like I said prior, it's, we would have the best day. We would have such a great day. And then later on that night, it was just something would just tick in his brain where he couldn't help himself.
And I think that's a huge factor with addiction in our relationship. Yeah. balance was definitely a huge key. I really tried to do what I could to help him and better him and distract his mind. For me, I'm really not a home buddy at all. And Liam was a home buddy and that's okay. But for me, I didn't want to be at home from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep.
And one thing I remember closer to the was that I remember Liam would always order us coffee from Starbucks on Uber Eats every morning. And I eventually said to him, I was like, this is before I got my, you know, I was able to drive and learn how to drive on the other side of the road in England, as you know. And I remember saying to him, I was like, you know, you have a car.
Why don't we just go out and grab a coffee? Like, why do we have to order one every single morning from Starbucks? And He just would always say, I just, I don't really want to get out of bed. I don't want to get out of bed yet. I just want to have like a lazy morning and then we'll go do something later on.
And for me, I prefer to actually wake up early, go grab a cup of coffee, go on a Starbucks drive-thru, sit on the drive-thru. I know it's something so small, but it makes my day feel 10 times more productive. Just getting out of bed rather than sitting in your bed and waiting for a coffee to show up right at your doorstep.
So for me, I think balance was a huge key factor in helping Liam with his mental health. You know, I tried to make sure that we weren't busy 24-7 because he wouldn't have liked that. That's like him trying to keep me at home 24-7. I wouldn't have liked that. So I think a balance was great. You know, some nights we would...
go out to a nice dinner and then go watch a movie after and then play mini golf or something or go bowling and then come home. But then other nights we would cook dinner at home, watch a movie at home in bed and then play Wii bowling.
You know, like we didn't have to be out all the time, but I think balance is so good, especially when you do struggle with mental health to help get that person kind of out of their shell and out of the house. And that's something that I really tried to And some days, he wouldn't really want to leave the house. And I would just kind of say to him, come on, we're getting out of the house.
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Chapter 4: What were Liam's struggles with mental health and addiction?
I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control.
My head is pounding. I'm confused.
I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community.
And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Duda Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I can see how much you're holding back and how hard this is for you. Just, you know, I think when people lose people and you know a family member's sick, it's never easy, ever.
Mm-hmm.
But there's a preparation, there's time to process with a tragic moment like this, which you're not expecting at all. And then to have the shock of it. Did you want to fly to Argentina? Like what was even going through your mind?
I think my first thought definitely was yes, to get on a flight to Argentina. But then after all of my friends and my mom came to Florida, I just realized there would be no point. And it's just better to not be in a foreign country. I don't know anybody in Argentina. I don't have family or friends there. So just to be...
in a home where I feel comfortable being and being surrounded by such a great support system is just going to be so much better for my mental health. I knew, of course, if I had to be there, I would have been there, but there was almost no point in me going there.
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Chapter 5: How did Kate support Liam through his mental health challenges?
I mean, for me, I think that most couples, of course, why would you be with somebody if you don't expect to have a future with them? It's something we definitely spoke about and something that we knew when the time was right that we wanted to develop and build this life together. And I think we were really on our way of doing that by moving to America. getting this new house.
I was starting to think of buying some new decorations and all these things and having a dog. And we were just kind of on our way there. And to have that ripped from you is just in one day. I mean, you really never know what tomorrow will bring. And I think ever since October 16th, I live in a fear of, I don't know what tomorrow will bring ever.
But everything just got completely ripped away from me in that one day.
I know it hasn't been very long, but what has helped you with the grieving process over the last few months? And as you're in that process and journey still, what's been useful to you? What was helpful to you and what was unhelpful as well? Because I think so many people listening or watching, whether they've lost someone close to them or I think people struggle to know what to say.
People struggle to know what to do themselves when they've lost someone. What worked for you?
I think at the end of the day, you need to listen and trust your heart because grief comes in so many waves, so many different emotions. You're going to wake up. You're going to feel numb. You're going to wake up. You're going to feel sad. You're going to feel angry.
You're going to feel one day you're going to wake up and you're going to laugh and you're going to just think of good moments you had. And then you're going to find yourself just this laugh turning into this hysterical cry. And I think that grief is something that you never know what to expect and And it hits everybody so differently.
So I think the best, you know, some advice that I would give, just some general advice would be to always trust your gut. Some things for me might not work for other people. I think keeping a consistent, of course, schedule routine. And I'm not saying waking up in the morning from 9 a.m., having a strategic plan throughout the day, and then not getting home until 8 p.m. Of course not.
Your mind needs time to rest and think and heal. But even just if you take one activity per day, it could just be walking, baking, going to the gym, going to applies class. Just any type of small thing, it just helps so much with your headspace. But I think for me, one thing that really has helped me so much and that makes me feel so full of light and love is seeing signs. And I...
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Chapter 6: How did Kate find out about Liam Payne's passing?
So now, every time you look down at your wrist, you can know and remember that my love for you is timeless.
We have all the time in the world to learn our love language for each other, and I hope and pray that I get this right for you. With every tick and every talk this watch makes, from this second onwards, I f***ing love you with all my heart, Keelan, and I won't lose you.
Your 444. Sorry, I'm just sometimes reading it out loud, just... It's just so hard to process that. It's like, we thought we had all this time and he thought we had all this time and it was just taken away.
And it's, this is the watch and it's so, it's so special to me and I just, you know, this is something that I will always, everything he's given me, but this watch I will always cherish and especially ever since he's passed away, I,
I read this note so often and I look down and I... Just like he... You know, he wants me to look down at my wrist and remember him. And, you know, it's not in the way that we thought. But this... This watch is so special. And even the way he gave me this watch, I remember he came home one day and he said, I got you a gift. And I said, you didn't have to. Okay, that's so kind. What is it?
And Liam would always bring me gifts and they weren't always these luxurious items. Sometimes he'd bring me McDonald's Happy Meal toy that he got earlier that day after work, or he would bring me a coffee or just a card or a note or flowers. It was always something different. And he said, you're going to have to go find it. It's in the backyard. And I was like, what do you mean?
He was like, I just thought we'd make fun out of it. I want you to remember this gift. So I hid it in the backyard. We're going to have a scavenger hunt. And I'm just in the backyard running around everywhere. And he's kind of just saying, warmer, colder. And finally, I look behind this chair bench thing we had in our backyard. And I see this box and this card on top of it.
And every gift he's given me has a story to it. And I think that's something that's so important too. And so important with me too. I have not only these cards that I can read, but these gifts.
small or big doesn't matter that I they each have a story and a memory to it they're not they weren't just given to me like oh I picked this up today I thought of you thought you'd like it okay I'm gonna go shower now the every single thing he's given me has such a story behind it and I'll cherish this watch for the rest of my life and everything he's given me thank you for sharing that with us and letting us into you know the beautiful love that you both shared and
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Chapter 7: What was Kate's last conversation and goodbye with Liam like?
Yeah, absolutely. Hearing about him from you has made me appreciate him even more, respect him even more and feel so much love for him through you and through all the beautiful memories and things that I read about when we found out the news, just to see him being honored and appreciated in that way is really beautiful to see. Whenever we lose someone that's important to us,
I feel like we find a new part of ourselves because we lose an old part of ourselves. And there's part that, of course, always stays. But for you, what perspectives have changed? What's shifted for you through this journey that you've been on for him? What's a lesson that's kind of risen to the surface?
I think, just like you said, I think that when you do lose somebody so close to you, you do lose a part of yourself. And I do feel like I lost half of me. And if Liam were here, he would want me to be strong. He would want me to be brave and do things that make me happy and do things to honor his legacy and honor his name and to help other people.
And I think for me, one of the things I just keep thinking about is... what else can I lose in life now when I already lost the best thing in my life? Like what more is there to lose? Like how could it get worse? So in my mind, it's like, take the risk, do things, be brave, be strong. Don't lay in bed all day. Get out of bed, live your life. And I have to live my life for Liam because I'm 25.
He would never want me to be in bed all day, depressed. And I have those days. Don't get me wrong. I'm sad all the time, but I'm happy sometimes because I just think about all the memories we have. And there was like, there's never going to be a love in my life that Liam was one of a kind. The love that we experienced is going to be one of a kind.
I'm never going to experience that type of love again in the future. Whatever is meant for me, it's going to be so different than what I experienced with Liam. And that's something that, you know, I'm so, I wouldn't change any part of it and I don't regret anything. And it's something that it's like out of a movie and I, I love him so much and I will continue to for the rest of my life.
I just think that for me, just doing things that make me happy and that I know would make him happy. I'm just trying to do those things and be strong and just realize that life's short and take the risks, take the opportunities, take, do what makes you happy because you don't have much to lose.
Okay. I want to thank you for taking the risk, being so courageous. I'm hoping that everyone who's been listening today has felt through you a deeper sense of love for Liam and the beautiful words you shared about him, which I really do believe honor him. And I really hope for anyone who's listening who's lost someone near and dear to them, someone who's close to them,
feels a sense of peace and healing through you sharing your journey of grief and loss and everything that you're still going through.
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