Elizabeth Shaw
speaker
1,154 appearances
11 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Sep 2021
Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I think we see all sorts of examples of that where people do rush to judgments, sometimes based on experiences that haven't been well processed and are just carried around like a giant pile of baggage that's um not digested properly.
I think when you've been hurt a few times in relationships, sometimes that can mean when you're out looking
you've pruned your list down to the most limited number of things to say if it's not this
Then it's going to be hopeless.
Whereas, you know, when you're starting out, sometimes, you know, you're more willing to see what comes.
And that's a good thing because ultimately being trusting and being curious and being generous towards others is is generally better for us.
Psychologically, it's it um it gives us the chance to come across opportunities that we might have turned away from.
And it builds a better community, so it's a it's a great way to be.
And when you look at our deal breakers, that sort of checks out.
Well, look, I I think again when we're just measuring people against our wish list and on on um uh dating apps, because it can feel like there's a smorgasbord of possibilities, so you can also feel like
you can be a bit brittle with your judgment because there's plenty more where that came from, you know, so you can also not be aware of the ramifications of your judgment because other people just pop up in your feed.
What you don't know is if you actually met all of those people at a party, you might find that the smoker, for example, was actually the most interesting, engaging and attractive person at the party, but they happen to be smoking.
But you've you've already weeded them out on the app.
Um so I guess what what you don't know is whether that ever really matters.
Um the plus side is that if you do know for whatever reason that smoking or addictive behaviours really are a deal breaker for you, you're also not wasting anyone's time.
By going down those tracks.
And you could have really good reasons for saying no to those things.
It doesn't mean that you're generally a judgmental person.
There's also probably, you know, some evidence that those could be legitimate red flags too.
I guess you gotta know.
Showing 81–100 of 1,154 · page 5 of 58
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