Emily Pogue

You're burying the lead here because when the cops were called to the pond, again, this article flops between pond and pool interchangeably.

Maybe it was just a really dirty pool with like algae.

So the water was green.

Yeah, carry on.

Regardless, the cops get called because the neighbor's like, why is there a naked woman in my pond pool?

When the cops come, she states to them, I assume they say, why are you in this pond pool?

And she says, I'm trying.

Let's do an ad lib for it.

She says, I'm trying to be a mermaid.

She was tased and arrested, and that is all you need to know about that story.

Tony.

I mean, it's unbelievable.

What a pleasure it was having you, buddy.

Always a pleasure, my friend.

Always a pleasure.

Take care.

Tony Five, our foreign correspondent in London, England, where he currently joins us from the tube with his trousers off, probably.

Either that or from his office room in his house.

It's unclear.

Coming up, the international incident I'm about to try to start between the mayor of Niagara Falls, the Canadian side, and a poor travel writer who said she liked the U.S.