Emily Wade
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
And I come every time, let me tell you.
He does all this shit for this bitch that he never did for me.
He paid for her rent, he paid for her car, he paid for her college.
I had to drop out twice because I couldn't afford to go back to school.
If I had known that's all it would take, I'd have sucked the fuck out of my dad's dick years ago.
Talk about a full fucking ride.
Now don't worry, my dad knows I do that joke.
He actually came up to me after my set.
He goes, Emily, I just want you to know everything you said tonight is absolutely true.
How would you feel about going back to college?
And I'm excited to announce I'll be starting at UT.
You know, I shouldn't have stopped for 10 seconds, but it is what it is.
I've been doing comedy for a year.
I'm originally from Boston.
I just moved here from Miami, Florida.
I have a stand-up comedy podcast with my best friend called Two Girls, One Blunt Podcast.
I am this close to opening a hot dog stand.