Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV and now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. If you want to check out Tony Hinchcliffe's website, go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. everything Golden Pony, including his tour dates, at TonyHinchcliffe.com.
If you want to check out the Sunset Strip or get some Death Squad merch, go to DeathSquad.tv.
Chapter 2: What are the details about the Kill Tony show?
And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hemsclay! Who's ready for the best fucking Monday night of their lives, huh? We made it. You are here. You guys did it. You're here. This is the number one live podcast in the world.
Chapter 3: What sponsorships are mentioned in this episode?
Kill Tony brought to you this week by HelloFresh and Mando. Make some noise for Red Band, everybody. Hi. We've been doing this a long time. And how about one more time for the best damn band in the land? On the horns, the great Carlos Sosa, Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, and Michael Gonzalez on the drums.
Over here, we have Matt Muehling on the electric guitar playing a brand new guitar, thanks to John Page Classic and the leader of the band, an undeniable force. This is the great John Bees on the keys, everybody. Deep Madness is playing by himself at another venue that nobody knows about because he's blind. You know what I'm saying? We have a fun show lined up for you.
Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
This podcast is brought to you by Send the Vote, folks. Election Day is coming up on November 5th, and there's a website, sendthevote.org slash Tony that makes registering to vote easy. All you have to do is head over to sendthevote.org slash Tony, and they'll help you sign up, register, and check if you're all set. You can also text Tony to 33022. That's 33022.
To learn more, that's T-O-N-Y to 33022. Thanks to Send the Vote for sponsoring this podcast. Are you guys ready for the best fucking show you've ever seen?
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts introduce their guests?
Here we go. Anything can happen. I lined up two of the funniest guests that we've ever had on this show, two of the funniest guests in the world, two of my favorite comedians, legends of New York, here quite often because Austin is the new comedy capital of the world. Ladies and gentlemen, your guests tonight, two of the greatest. Make some noise for Chris DeStefano and Joe DeRosa.
226 sign-ups, and two of my favorite guests of all time. What's up, Chris? Hello, how you doing? Feeling good? Absolutely. Absolutely. You look good. We're going to have some fucking fun tonight. Yeah, beautiful crowd. There it is, great hat. This guy wearing a fucking Gucci bucket hat up here.
I know, dude. You really look like an idiot.
It's unbelievable.
But it's good. You're owning it, and it's about confidence. Yeah, dude. No, don't pull it down. It makes it worse. But it's good. Good for you.
That is an incredible hat. Joe DeRosa, what do you think about how dumb this fucking guy looks? What do the GGs on it stand for? Wow, you're so poor and cheap. It stands for, the GG stands for gay guy. That's how I know what it means. Wait, what do the GG stand for?
Gucci.
You fucking free t-shirt wearing motherfucker. You bought that? I like that you're wearing the thing your dad bought you at the game. No fucking start. We just got out here. Oh, Michael's playing those drums. Oh, he did not like me saying he just works out and plays the drums. One joke on Tony just... You angry little fucking Mexican bastard. Look at this fucking bad boy burrito back here.
Jesus Christ. Fucking spicy quesadilla tonight, huh? All right. Fucking unbelievable. Oh, your dad bought you a shirt, Michael. Just... Shut the fuck up back there, you motherfucking...
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Chapter 5: What humorous advice does Tony give Drew?
Drew's about to piss his pants, ladies and gentlemen. Okay, Drew, look her in the eyes, Drew. I know you want to fix the mic stand nervously right now. Tell us some of the feelings going through your mind right now as you look at a stunning woman. Keep eye contact with her while saying the things. I panic, run, I don't have any money.
Chapter 6: What opening line does Heidi suggest?
Piss yourself, Drew. Piss yourself right now. We want to see the splotch. All right. Okay, give us an idea of what an opening line with Heidi. Heidi, why don't you open things up?
Chapter 7: How does Drew describe his feelings during the interaction?
I always like you. You're so conversational. You see a guy like this on the street. What do you say to a stud like this? Grab DeRosa's microphone here. I don't want you to share one with all these sick retards up here tonight. Okay, Heidi, you're going to give him a shot, and you say...
Do you need a dollar or something?
Oh, Heidi, be nice. Come on, start nice. Come on. Heidi's a fucking cold-blooded assassin. She was raised around us wolves here. No, but I do need your number. Whoa. There it is. Rapey.
There it is.
Holy shit. Come on, dude. Straight to the number. Okay, let's try another round. Here we go. Round two of what the fuck is going on. Heidi says a nice line, and you react in any way. Heidi?
How's your day going?
Come on, dude.
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Chapter 8: What happens when Drew tries to engage with the audience?
Think a line from your favorite movie. Go, how about this? It likes it when you put the lotion in the basket.
It puts the lotion on its skin. Let's get back to it.
She asked you the... It puts the number in my phone. No, no, no. Okay, Drew, relax.
You can mind me your phone.
Okay, everybody relax. Everybody relax. Okay. Drew, she asked you, how's your day going? Better now that I'm talking to you. Thank you. How about you? How's your day going?
You're welcome. My day's going great. So far, so good.
Holy shit, Drew. This is unbelievable. Heidi, say something else easy and nice to him. Let's see how he reacts.
Where did you grow up, Drew?
Denver, yeah.
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