Erin Holland

And I genuinely, when I say I really never thought that this would happen after five years, it was really feeling like it may never happen.

But here we are, nearly 37 and Bubba on the way.

And as you rightly say, I think the hard part about infertility and pregnancy loss is that beautiful naivety of just seeing a double line on a pregnancy test is robbed from me because the first time you do it, it's elation.

It's so exciting.

And then the second time you do it, you're cautiously excited.

And then by the third and the fourth time, you think it's catfishing you.

And that's what it's been like for me as well.

And it kind of felt like for a while there, anything that

could go wrong was going wrong i had an ectopic pregnancy from a ivf transfer which you know if you know anything about anatomy they definitely put it in the uterus and just happened to make its way up into the tube and implant there which is a less than one percent chance of that happening and it just kind of felt like like what else can possibly go wrong at this point let alone the many transfers that didn't even result in a single positive pregnancy test but

I think the moment it felt a little more real was about a 14-week scan.

And I had really dissociated by this point.

I'd just come back from working overseas.

I'd medically been told that I was able to travel and still work because what will be will be, particularly in this very early stage of pregnancy.

And we had a 14-week scan and the NIPT that came back.

low risk and it kind of went oh it looks a little bit like a baby it's still behaving the way that it should behave maybe maybe this is it and and maybe actually to go back even further with my pregnancies that haven't worked out it was always a very low reading on hcg it was kind of barely there there was a

Not a lot of hope really that it was going to progress and my HCG was so high that it was almost twins.

And I went, oh God, would that just be me?

Ever the overachiever, I end up with two, but no, just one very strong, healthy reading.

Yeah, I think there were signs that it was maybe the one, but that 14-week scan and then again the 20-week scan just recently, it kind of really felt real and starting to feel things and movement is just...

It's an absolute bloody miracle, to be honest.