Esther Perel

Yeah. Soccer or football?

It's a beautiful image. It really describes it very, very well. There is what you can do. And then there is how other people can help you do what you're about to do. And then how what you do will help what others need from you because that's the way the team. I think it's a great image. It fits my thinking very much.

It's a beautiful image. It really describes it very, very well. There is what you can do. And then there is how other people can help you do what you're about to do. And then how what you do will help what others need from you because that's the way the team. I think it's a great image. It fits my thinking very much.

Oh no, don't please.

Oh no, don't please.

And certainly not that I was traveling with a boyfriend either. But your distinction is very important because I've often described that I grew up in a community that was all Holocaust survivors. They were not Belgian born. They all arrived.

And certainly not that I was traveling with a boyfriend either. But your distinction is very important because I've often described that I grew up in a community that was all Holocaust survivors. They were not Belgian born. They all arrived.

My parents also, when they arrived to Belgium after the war from the concentration camps, they were refugees and they stayed illegal refugees for another five years. So this is not just the war. It's everything that follows. I happen to be born later. My brother is born in 46. I'm born in 58. So I just arrived when my parents were finally beginning to kind of settle themselves.

My parents also, when they arrived to Belgium after the war from the concentration camps, they were refugees and they stayed illegal refugees for another five years. So this is not just the war. It's everything that follows. I happen to be born later. My brother is born in 46. I'm born in 58. So I just arrived when my parents were finally beginning to kind of settle themselves.

But I often thought that in my community and what I'm going to describe, I saw in my community, but I think you can apply this to many other communities and many other circumstances surrounding trauma. There were people who did not die and there were people who came back to life.

But I often thought that in my community and what I'm going to describe, I saw in my community, but I think you can apply this to many other communities and many other circumstances surrounding trauma. There were people who did not die and there were people who came back to life.

People who did not die lived very tattered to the ground, often fearful, often afraid to take risks, often afraid to enjoy, because when you enjoy, you cannot be vigilant. You cannot be worried. and joyful at the same time. You cannot experience pleasure and fear at the same time, unless it is baked into a certain kind of pleasure system, but not the way that these people were experiencing it.

People who did not die lived very tattered to the ground, often fearful, often afraid to take risks, often afraid to enjoy, because when you enjoy, you cannot be vigilant. You cannot be worried. and joyful at the same time. You cannot experience pleasure and fear at the same time, unless it is baked into a certain kind of pleasure system, but not the way that these people were experiencing it.

And they often lived with curtains that were kind of pulled down. And you entered their homes and there was a kind of a morbidity. They survived, but they were not necessarily alive. And this is an image. This is not that anybody discussed it like that, but I would feel it when I would go to the homes of my friends. And then you had another group and they came back to life.

And they often lived with curtains that were kind of pulled down. And you entered their homes and there was a kind of a morbidity. They survived, but they were not necessarily alive. And this is an image. This is not that anybody discussed it like that, but I would feel it when I would go to the homes of my friends. And then you had another group and they came back to life.

And I am very blessed to have been part of parents like that. My two parents, they had not survived for nothing. They didn't starve for years for nothing.

And I am very blessed to have been part of parents like that. My two parents, they had not survived for nothing. They didn't starve for years for nothing.

And we discussed many, many times what made them want to continue to live and how did they get up in the morning at minus something degrees and walk with newspaper around their feet and go work in those factories and be moved from one camp to another. All of that. And they were going to enjoy life. It wasn't just... They were going to enjoy life with a vengeance.

And we discussed many, many times what made them want to continue to live and how did they get up in the morning at minus something degrees and walk with newspaper around their feet and go work in those factories and be moved from one camp to another. All of that. And they were going to enjoy life. It wasn't just... They were going to enjoy life with a vengeance.

The biggest thing they could do was actually enjoy life.