Esther Perel

Look, everything on where should we begin was to say to people, we don't really know what's happening in the private lives of other couples.

And it's very easy these days because you can anonymously state your opinions on every platform you want without any consequence.

No, no, I think, yeah, you can be forever, but you will be stuck in a marital cell, you know, or a relational cell of any sort.

No, I think that sometimes if you can't accept it, if you can't learn to live with it, if you can't find a place for it in your life, then you may need to make a decision.

Or if you live with someone and you've done all the repair and all the showing up that was necessary and your partner is still,

coming back to you every day, every time you're five minutes late, you may need to think about that.

What do you want to do?

So no, I don't think people need to remain stuck in misery, you know, and in blame cycles all the time.

But at the same time, for some people, they still prefer that.

And you make sense of it.

You understand why they prefer that.

You understand the stories and the childhoods they've had, etc.

It's very important for us not to become the public square.

that oozes with judgment about as if we know when we don't.

We don't know if people are also taking care of elderly or sick children or there are other reasons.

what they want that I think are often not spoken up.

It's one thing to think you are not trustworthy, but it's another thing to doubt your own self-trust, your own self-confidence, and the idea that you could have made a bad decision, that you made a bad choice, that the bargain that you struck with yourself

That you were going to be with somebody who would never do such a thing to you.

That you purposefully didn't stay with the person with whom you had much more passion and much more intensity.

You chose someone who was safe and stable and you thought that person will never cheat on me.