Esther Perel

This is true in intimate relationships. This is not just for romantic love. This is foundations of relational systems. feedback loop, it's called in cybernetics.

This is true in intimate relationships. This is not just for romantic love. This is foundations of relational systems. feedback loop, it's called in cybernetics.

The Gottmans call them bids for connection.

The Gottmans call them bids for connection.

You know, it's the little things. It's the difference between turning towards someone or turning away. You know, when you read something, there's a classic example they give. You read something. Do you actually say, hey, did you read this? Let me send you this article. That's a bid for connection. It's not a big declaration, but it says we're in this together.

You know, it's the little things. It's the difference between turning towards someone or turning away. You know, when you read something, there's a classic example they give. You read something. Do you actually say, hey, did you read this? Let me send you this article. That's a bid for connection. It's not a big declaration, but it says we're in this together.

When I see something that's interesting that I think you would like to read as well, I share it with you. I'm thinking of you. I know you exist even if I'm not with you.

When I see something that's interesting that I think you would like to read as well, I share it with you. I'm thinking of you. I know you exist even if I'm not with you.

Because it's like when you receive a birthday gift, do you think?

Because it's like when you receive a birthday gift, do you think?

When you buy a birthday gift, is it important to give it?

When you buy a birthday gift, is it important to give it?

Okay, that's the reason. I mean, how would she know that you watched it if there is no acknowledgement? And the acknowledgement is not about the video or the DM. The acknowledgement is we share something.

Okay, that's the reason. I mean, how would she know that you watched it if there is no acknowledgement? And the acknowledgement is not about the video or the DM. The acknowledgement is we share something.

Yes, but the seen it means that I have seen the video. The acknowledgement is we are part of a thread. We're connected. She's absolutely right. So in that sense, when people lose the spark, it is a lot of these small details that people say so much in the beginning. You know, all the positive stuff that people lose.

Yes, but the seen it means that I have seen the video. The acknowledgement is we are part of a thread. We're connected. She's absolutely right. So in that sense, when people lose the spark, it is a lot of these small details that people say so much in the beginning. You know, all the positive stuff that people lose.

And it's actually only more important with time rather than less important with time. The death of a relationship is when people take each other for granted. And when you stop acknowledging those things, it is part of the mechanisms of taking for granted.

And it's actually only more important with time rather than less important with time. The death of a relationship is when people take each other for granted. And when you stop acknowledging those things, it is part of the mechanisms of taking for granted.

You know, it's a little bit like sex. It used to be that you had to be ashamed if you had sex. Now you are ashamed if you don't.

You know, it's a little bit like sex. It used to be that you had to be ashamed if you had sex. Now you are ashamed if you don't.