Esther Perel

rejoice who really can wake up in a good mood because that's something that doesn't always happen to me find someone who if it matters to you has a sense of family find someone who has a sense of religion if it matters to you find someone who loves to travel if it matters to you find someone who can tolerate difference but ask yourself also can you tolerate difference

It's like, look inward.

Don't just, you know.

Expect.

Because even that question can become a list, too.

Yeah, I think that so much of our pressures at this point are about focusing on the self and on the optimization of the self and on the self-hacking and on the self-fulfillment and the self-worth and the self-awareness and the self-self-self.

And then even when you ask, what should I look for in a partner?

It's what can this partner bring to me rather than what are each other's needs that we can

cultivate together.

It's very different to say a we versus a you who is going to help me become more of myself and make me become the best version of myself.

You know, you live in a big world.

There's a lot of things to think about besides just me.

technologies, our predictive technologies are trying to remove all the inconveniences.

What they're trying to do is present you with a very polished life where there is no friction, no obstacles.

Nothing that you have to work through, which traditionally has always been seen as that which gives you a sense of resilience, that which gives you experience, that which is necessary for child development.

It's true for little kids as well.

They need friction.

They need to resolve problems.

They need to figure it out.

They need to make mistakes and correct it.