Esther Perel

And she is clear that she doesn't want to leave.

because she's also very clear that they actually had a very good marriage throughout those 25 years.

And that is true too.

And things are not so black and white.

And it is not my job to tell this person nor any friend's job to tell this person and talk about the shame because 25 years, she doesn't want the family to know because she doesn't want them to pity her for staying with him.

And she doesn't want them to be angry at him because then she can't love him if they're all despising him.

So she's now carrying the secret about the secret.

Look, everything on where should we begin was to say to people, we don't really know what's happening in the private lives of other couples.

And it's very easy these days because you can anonymously state your opinions on every platform you want without any consequence.

No, no, I think, yeah, you can be forever, but you will be stuck in a marital cell, you know, or a relational cell of any sort.

No, I think that sometimes if you can't accept it, if you can't learn to live with it, if you can't find a place for it in your life, then you may need to make a decision.

Or if you live with someone and you've done all the repair and all the showing up that was necessary and your partner is still,

coming back to you every day, every time you're five minutes late, you may need to think about that.

What do you want to do?

So no, I don't think people need to remain stuck in misery, you know, and in blame cycles all the time.

But at the same time, for some people, they still prefer that.

And you make sense of it.

You understand why they prefer that.

You understand the stories and the childhoods they've had, etc.

It's very important for us not to become the public square.