Ethan Sweetland-May

And right next to it is an identical table.

And all around it on the floor are like zip ties and cords.

And there's a pile of lamps in the corner.

And we look at each other and we both just finished the first season of Dexter.

And we are thinking one thing.

And we just like, without saying anything, we're just like out of there, backwards, down the ladder, shut it up.

And we have this panicked brainstorming session.

We are like, what do we do?

And I'm like, we call the cops.

And she's like, tell them what?

We found a room in our attic.

There's no blood.

There's no crime.

And I remember that my sister and my brother-in-law are coming to see us the next day.

And I'm like, OK, OK, we just table this for the night.

And she's like, I don't have a better idea.

That's what we're doing.

It was a really long night.

I just laid there listening to the house creaking, staring at the ceiling, and trying to imagine some pleasant, harmless hobby that you would need a scary murder room for.

And the next day, my brother-in-law gets there and he's one of these walking human encyclopedia people who you bring up houseboats and suddenly he knows about houseboats.